Hey man. Reality check.
Pieman7373 wrote:
That feeling when you desperately need to graduate, but your brain is an idiot, so it always forgets to do everything important, and you are barely passing...
Yeah, grades are important but you are more important. Don't forget to take time for yourself when you're stressed. I find that I can recompose myself better when I take a break from studying or stressful things going on in my life by expressing myself. I'll cover this next but don't you ever forget about yourself.
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and depression
which causes stupid things to be done to myself
It's life. We've all been depressed. We can all relate. Don't let that deter you. You'll only hit the bottom if you let yourself. And trust me, when you let yourself hit bottom you might as well be in a black hole. Nothing matters, nothing cheers you up and that pessimistic view you have on life now begins permanent. You need to fight for your survival.
I don't like hearing that depression causes you to do stupid things to yourself. I've had friends who cut, who took prescription drugs, done hard drugs and even, drown themselves in alcohol. A majority of them are better these days but I can still see how those choices affected them. I'd really like to see you applying that depression and stress towards an outlet. Buy a blank canvas and some paint, when you're feeling depressed throw some paint at the sucker, draw and paint your feelings. I know what you're thinking. "That's stupid." No. It isn't. Do not keep these feelings to yourself. That's the WORST thing you can do. You need to get these feelings out and expressed. That's why people cut. You need to feel better and relieved. That's why people consume drugs and alcohol. But those are band aids over a problem. None of them solve the issue.
Yeah, sure. Obtaining the canvas and paints costs money but it's cheap compared to hospital bills for an OD, getting your stomach pumped or, blood transfusions because you cut deeper so you can feel something again. On top of that, canvas and paint is certainly cheaper than a therapist.
Maybe painting isn't your thing. That's fine. Maybe you've always wanted to get in shape. So spend a few hundred bucks on a good punching bag. And when you're depressed just punch the living daylights out of it. Go running, visualize yourself running away from those problems and leaving them on the streets. Visualize those fears and problems getting hit by cars and trampled by pedestrians. When you get home tell yourself you left your problems outside to die. Don't bring anything home with you.
You need to express yourself. Don't forget about yourself.
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but i have no good friends irl (just faces)
so no one i can talk to about the stupid things
and that makes it worse
Yeah. So what? These friends aren't holding you back. Take the forms of expression you found above and go on websites like MeetUp and find groups of people with the same passion in your city. Some groups may have a membership fee but pay it. It won't be a permanent thing. Maybe the group isn't a good fit, so move onto another. Maybe after a year you got some solid friends and you guys start organizing events outside of the MeetMe group. Cancel your membership.
You need to express yourself. Keeping all these feelings inside you is damaging and poisonous. You need to put yourself out there. Remeber, don't forget about yourself.
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and then the only people i can talk to are far away
they cant help me
shout out to Little for being helpful
Yes we can. We just can't help you the way you want us to help you. Help comes in many forms. This post of mine here is help. It may not be supportive or pandering to your ego but it is help. You absolutely need to take care of yourself. You are the most important thing in your life. Everything else is last. There shouldn't even be a second place right now.
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Also, this might seem kinda stupid, but i wish i either didnt like any girls at all, or that i would stop liking and building friendships with girls who are either not interested in me or are romantically unavailable... because i always convince myself that people like me more than they do (no one likes me) and then i get my hopes up, but they dont actually like me.
Stop. This is not healthy. By all means, form relationships with women but tell yourself that there is nothing romantic. It's important. Pushing women away as friends is the opposite of what you want. If you push them away, after a while you'll believe any interaction from them is a form of interest on their end. It's not healthy. Recognize the difference between a friendship and a relationship. If you go out with a group of people from MeetMe, every one is a friend for a few meetings. Get to know people. Maybe you click with a few of them, get their numbers, Maybe the lot of you are really looking forward to the summer blockbuster coming out. Plan an evening with the movie and a group dinner. As well as other events. You'll form a better and intimate bond with those friends, maybe you'll form a really close bond with a woman, you guys start doing things together. Just the two of you. That's entering relationship territory.
But to get there you need to put yourself first and take care of yourself.
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I am a nice person, and i am quite empathetic (almost to a fault) and so i notice if the people that i know and (for some reason) care about are struggling, or having problems, and i try to help them, but no one notices ME... Not one of my so called "friends" ever notices when i am particularly down, and even when i try to talk to my closest irl friend, she doesnt actually care, she just pretends.
We share a lot in common here. You notice their issues because they express them. You keep them to yourself. You don't express your feelings but yet you expect people to read your mind? It doesn't work like that. Work on expressing your feelings. I don't care if you throw water balloons filled with paint at a canvas and title it "Thrown with Rage." That's expression. I don't care if you burn that painting and photograph it. Titling that one "My Problems Don't Control Me." That's expression. You can't keep this inside you. It's not healthy and it won't solve your problems. Take care of yourself by expressing your problems.
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I always try and seem happy on here, because i want to help other people feel good (even if i feel like sh*t)... Just like i pretend to be an extrovert sometimes, even though i am actually not... and i act like an almost over-confident person, but i actually have zero faith in my own capabilities
Again. Stop. Start thinking positively. Instead of having zero faith in your abilities tell your self "with a little bit more practice I'll be able to achieve this." Stop looking at the bigger picture. Break into into small steps. You'll never climb Everest if you look at the top. You need to break it down and see that Base Camp is at these 3 elevations. You need to break it down further, achieve smaller goals so that you know you can survive on the lower oxygen levels at each base camp when you attempt Everest. I can't tell you what these steps are, so you need to take that analogy and apply them to your own goals.
I believe in you. I'm here for you but you also need to be there for yourself as well.