Lifes a bitch, lemmy tell yah. lol. I would know, since I'm its hoe.

Right now I'm really getting frustrated with my father's excessive nagging and bitching. I'm to the point where I have no motivation to do anything but sit on my computer and play video games (its my escape... its better then weed, drugs, and other shit, but its still an addiction that I gotta fix).

At the start of this school year I was doing pretty well. Getting my school done and passing all my classes. Now its happening the same way it did last year. I start out the school all honky dory untill my Dad tries to fuck everything up. Then I get demotivated and find myself in a position where the only thing I can do to get back at my father is hurt myself (stupid, I know. emo like? sadly...) by planting my a and doing thing. I've lost all motivation to do my school, I've lost all motivation to work, and all this is happening when I have four core classes being shoved up my a as well as an extremely rare web design job I got. Sadly they're all going down hill and I'm not sure if I'm actually going to get the job as the web developer and web master of this site. And sadly I have six more weeks to get my act together and pull my grade up from a 30 in Government (bah, its okay now, I just missed an excused day and needed to make up a test ) and a zero in english 3 (I failed english 3 last year because of confusion as to what the fuck my teacher actually wanted me to do (many of the students failed because she was unclear)). So I'm stuck with 4/4 core classes, two I'm failling, and a job that just came in that I want to shove back out the window.

I'm in desperate need of motivation. This is my inside speaking out, because my outside really just doesn't give a fuck anymore. I really need some help guys, I really do. Anything at all! I just need something to work for... my happiness is gone at the moment and I really do NOT have ANYTHING to work for.

Do I have something to live for? Everything. I have a great family (except my Dad) as well as a nephew and neice which I love to death! All though I hate my life right now due to the circumstances, I would never replace it with an endless hell that I fear awaits me on the other side. I'd rather live my life here then take my life. So don't worry about suicide, I have that under control

I've often felt like that in the past; I had a personal issue that was rather depressingly fail for quite some time, but it was actually my projects and schoolwork that kept me from thinking about the problems in my life. In fact, whenever there's an aspect of my life I'm very unhappy with, I find that channeling my emotions into work and projects keeps me distracted and happy; that's just the way my mind works. If that's not how yours works, perhaps think about how your good grades will help you get into an excellent college and do you well for your professional life? You're an extremely skilled programmer and web designer, and you also have an eye for design and useability that many web designing code monkeys lack, and you should absolutely jump on that web design job if you have the time and show them the skills that you can bring to the table. I can also certainly understand where your schoolwork doesn't seem interesting or something you want to spend time on, but if nothing else, realize that you obviously have the intellect for them, and the only thing that's keeping you from excelling is motivation; if you can motivate yourself to put the work into them to get some good grades, I think you'll feel accomplished and much better about yourself.

Wow, Kerm's advice is fantastic. That's pretty much exactly what I would say if I hadn't read that first.

I think the best part of your situation is that you care enough to realize that something is wrong. That means that you are already "on your side" in fixing this. It seems like you really want that Web job, so I think you should grab on to that (something you know you're good at) as something to motivate yourself.

My advice is simple:

You don't know shit, now grow up and get on with your life.

You would probably not, for example, make a good suicide negotiator, Kllrnohj.

Yes, I would hope you work in a job with minimal human interaction. Much better for the world if some people are allowed to work productively in peace without other, potentially annoying people to make them excessively angry.

Haha, I tend to think that Kllrnohj would be the kind of person who'd love to work in a job with a lot of facetime to give him an opportunity to ridicule the idiots who tried to ask him questions. I personally prefer working with fewer people because when I have to deal with a lot of people I sometimes feel tempted to have exactly the reaction I'd expect from Kllrnohj.

Dude, I'm majoring in Comp Sci - human interaction is obviously not something I care much about.

That said, I am very different in person than on forums - mainly because sarcasm doesn't really work in text form. Honestly if you talked to me on the phone you probably wouldn't know it was me - unless you did something stupid, because I'll readily call you out in the RL as well. And I curse more in RL, but that is because of the lame filter.

My point exactly.



Interesting. It seems as though sarcasm evolves into directness when its conveyance becomes inhibited. Yet another psychological observation that "a statistical majority" of people will find "obvious."

Also, I agree that the filter is lame. I don't curse very much at all, except when I'm correcting other peoples curse-grammar. It is one of the most satisfying pastimes...

Thanks for the replies guys

I hope it wasn't just recently you found that one out

lol, thats why I don't use a filter on my forum

Though, I'm actually not on it very much... I hate going on it and seeing 3 pages of new posts though >.>

I didn't say I was surprised by that or expected anything different. I just don't give a shit.

So how are you doing, Swivel, feeling any better about your life?

Hey, I just realized, you seem to have discovered an awesome way to beat the filter. Which is something I got flamed for, if I remember correctly...

Yeah. I talked a bit with some close people and am feeling a little better. I really need to work my a off on my first period class though, because its two semesters in one and its not looking good so far...

Hopefully I can get back on track in time to graduate!

He did it to make emphasis for his point. Didn't you just use it to switch from 0x5 to lol? Both are disrespectful, but what he did was wrong. What you did was stupid.

I'm sorry, but I don't think it can be "wrong" to use a word. What you use it for, now that can be wrong, but the word itself is just a word.

Meh, guess I'm just better than you

Besides, who wants to flame me? They know they wouldn't have a chance at a flame war against me, I've got too much experience

It's as if you're a fool, you drag people down to your level and then beat them with experience.

I like to think of it more as a game of king of the hill