Lifes a bitch, lemmy tell yah. lol. I would know, since I'm its hoe.
Right now I'm really getting frustrated with my father's excessive nagging and bitching. I'm to the point where I have no motivation to do anything but sit on my computer and play video games (its my escape... its better then weed, drugs, and other shit, but its still an addiction that I gotta fix).
At the start of this school year I was doing pretty well. Getting my school done and passing all my classes. Now its happening the same way it did last year. I start out the school all honky dory untill my Dad tries to fuck everything up. Then I get demotivated and find myself in a position where the only thing I can do to get back at my father is hurt myself (stupid, I know. emo like? sadly...) by planting my a and doing thing. I've lost all motivation to do my school, I've lost all motivation to work, and all this is happening when I have four core classes being shoved up my a as well as an extremely rare web design job I got. Sadly they're all going down hill and I'm not sure if I'm actually going to get the job as the web developer and web master of this site. And sadly I have six more weeks to get my act together and pull my grade up from a 30 in Government (bah, its okay now, I just missed an excused day and needed to make up a test ) and a zero in english 3 (I failed english 3 last year because of confusion as to what the fuck my teacher actually wanted me to do (many of the students failed because she was unclear)). So I'm stuck with 4/4 core classes, two I'm failling, and a job that just came in that I want to shove back out the window.
I'm in desperate need of motivation. This is my inside speaking out, because my outside really just doesn't give a fuck anymore. I really need some help guys, I really do. Anything at all! I just need something to work for... my happiness is gone at the moment and I really do NOT have ANYTHING to work for.
Do I have something to live for? Everything. I have a great family (except my Dad) as well as a nephew and neice which I love to death! All though I hate my life right now due to the circumstances, I would never replace it with an endless hell that I fear awaits me on the other side. I'd rather live my life here then take my life. So don't worry about suicide, I have that under control
Right now I'm really getting frustrated with my father's excessive nagging and bitching. I'm to the point where I have no motivation to do anything but sit on my computer and play video games (its my escape... its better then weed, drugs, and other shit, but its still an addiction that I gotta fix).
At the start of this school year I was doing pretty well. Getting my school done and passing all my classes. Now its happening the same way it did last year. I start out the school all honky dory untill my Dad tries to fuck everything up. Then I get demotivated and find myself in a position where the only thing I can do to get back at my father is hurt myself (stupid, I know. emo like? sadly...) by planting my a and doing thing. I've lost all motivation to do my school, I've lost all motivation to work, and all this is happening when I have four core classes being shoved up my a as well as an extremely rare web design job I got. Sadly they're all going down hill and I'm not sure if I'm actually going to get the job as the web developer and web master of this site. And sadly I have six more weeks to get my act together and pull my grade up from a 30 in Government (bah, its okay now, I just missed an excused day and needed to make up a test ) and a zero in english 3 (I failed english 3 last year because of confusion as to what the fuck my teacher actually wanted me to do (many of the students failed because she was unclear)). So I'm stuck with 4/4 core classes, two I'm failling, and a job that just came in that I want to shove back out the window.
I'm in desperate need of motivation. This is my inside speaking out, because my outside really just doesn't give a fuck anymore. I really need some help guys, I really do. Anything at all! I just need something to work for... my happiness is gone at the moment and I really do NOT have ANYTHING to work for.
Do I have something to live for? Everything. I have a great family (except my Dad) as well as a nephew and neice which I love to death! All though I hate my life right now due to the circumstances, I would never replace it with an endless hell that I fear awaits me on the other side. I'd rather live my life here then take my life. So don't worry about suicide, I have that under control