I have a dumb question to make your day if you're feeling malicious: do resistors resist amps, or volts?

Current = Voltage / Resistance
Resistance = Voltage / Current
Voltage = Resistance / Current

This is true in Ohmic materials, in non-ohmic things like batteries and diodes it is not. For all intents and purposes you can in many cases consider things like wires to be Ohmic.

Read and educate yourself:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ohm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Resistance
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electric_current
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voltage
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coulomb
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capacitance

If any questions feel free to speak up once you've given wikipedia a read, lots of EEs and people with general knowledge about the subject who can help.

They resist current (the flow of charge).

Water is used as a common analogy to describe electrical circuits. Water pressure represents voltage and the flow rate of the water represents current. If you imagine a resistor as being a pipe with a very narrow diameter then the overall flow rate (current) will be lower as it the water is harder to push through the narrow pipe (it resists the flow of water). The water will be at a lower pressure when it leaves the pipe, too, representing a voltage drop across the resistor. However, the flow rate will be the same at both sides of the resistor - current is the same at any point through a series circuit.