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Super Speler
Super Awesome Dude
Calc Guru
Joined: 28 Nov 2005
Posts: 1391
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 Posted: 21 Oct 2008 01:00:19 pm Post subject: |
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Some cheesy jokes (since this section hasn't had any activity in ages):
Q: Where do hamburgers go to dance?
A: The meatball!
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick!
Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours?
A: Nacho cheese! |
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SonicBoom95
Member
Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 237
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| Posted: 24 Oct 2008 03:24:03 pm Post subject: |
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| ...ha? |
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Weregoose
Authentic INTJ
Super Elite (Last Title)
Joined: 25 Nov 2004
Posts: 3976
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| Posted: 25 Oct 2008 07:27:41 pm Post subject: |
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SonicBoom95 wrote: ...ha? *cough* (More content per post, please.)
I've told this one already, but I rather like it: Concerning those enthusiastic mathematicians who dress in scary costumes on Christmas and open gifts on Halloween, you just have to understand the source of their confusion – for all they know, Dec 25 is Oct 31! (2510 ≡ 318)
Last edited by Guest on 25 Oct 2008 07:34:49 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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lordofthegeeks
Advanced Member
Joined: 13 Jul 2007
Posts: 280
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| Posted: 29 Oct 2008 06:19:42 pm Post subject: |
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I Feel sorrow for the state of the jokes... so here have this joke. :)
College Assignment
A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few
words as possible. the instructions stated the the short story had to
contain the following three things:
1. Religion
2. Sexuality
3. Mystery
Below is the only A+ short story in the class:
"Good God, I'm Pregnant, I wonder who did it?"
Last edited by Guest on 29 Oct 2008 06:20:15 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Bronco
Member
Joined: 23 Oct 2008
Posts: 147
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| Posted: 29 Oct 2008 08:00:12 pm Post subject: |
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Here's some:
* There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who know binary, and those who don't.
* If a man says something in a forest, and no woman is around to hear him, is he still wrong?
* Three women are stranded on an island. A genie appears, and will grant each woman one wish. The first woman wishes she was 10x smarter, so she builds a small raft and floats off. The second woman wishes to be 50x smarter than the first girl, so she builds a large boat and sails off. The third woman wishes to be 100x smarter than the first two girls, so she turns into a man and crosses the bridge
I'm not sexist, I swear  |
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bananaman
Indestructible
Calc Guru
Joined: 12 Sep 2005
Posts: 1124
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| Posted: 29 Oct 2008 09:53:32 pm Post subject: |
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Here is my favorite cheesy joke, I found it in a good clean joke book:
Man 1: Hey dude, why are you wearing green lipstick?
Man 2: Because red means stop. |
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SonicBoom95
Member
Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 237
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| Posted: 01 Nov 2008 12:19:11 am Post subject: |
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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.
Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first panda.
Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a race to the bottom.
Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Your choice, now. Continue. |
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Snipes17
Advanced Newbie
Joined: 07 May 2008
Posts: 62
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| Posted: 01 Nov 2008 12:14:46 pm Post subject: |
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A good Halloween joke courtesy of my friend:
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring. He replies: 'I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend you.'
She answers, ' My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'
'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'
She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.'
The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'
'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
'My dear child,' said the nun, 'Why are you crying?'
'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess; I'm married and I'm Jewish.'
The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party |
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Art_of_camelot
Member
Joined: 05 Jan 2008
Posts: 152
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| Posted: 03 Nov 2008 01:07:50 am Post subject: |
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| GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!! It burns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why!!!!!!? |
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Super Speler
Super Awesome Dude
Calc Guru
Joined: 28 Nov 2005
Posts: 1391
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| Posted: 03 Nov 2008 11:15:38 am Post subject: |
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A guy walks into a bar. He asks the bartender "About how big are penguins?"
The bartender spreads his hands about one and a half feet apart and says "about yay big."
The man looks terrified screams "CRAP! I JUST RAN OVER A NUN!" |
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GloryMXE7
Puzzleman 3000
Active Member
Joined: 02 Nov 2008
Posts: 604
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| Posted: 03 Nov 2008 11:19:10 pm Post subject: |
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boy 1:How do you get an elefant out of a safeway by removing The S from safe and the F from way
Boy 2:But there is no F in way
Boy 1:correct |
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luby
I want to go back to Philmont!!
Calc Guru
Joined: 23 Apr 2006
Posts: 1477
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| Posted: 04 Nov 2008 05:27:19 pm Post subject: |
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| uhhhhhh.... Say what now? Anybody care to explain? |
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ticalcnoah
Member
Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Posts: 153
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| Posted: 04 Nov 2008 05:30:57 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: boy 1:How do you get an elefant out of a safeway by removing The S from safe and the F from way
Boy 2:But there is no F in way
Boy 1:correct |
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GloryMXE7
Puzzleman 3000
Active Member
Joined: 02 Nov 2008
Posts: 604
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| Posted: 04 Nov 2008 05:35:56 pm Post subject: |
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because there is no f in the word way so there is no f'n way you can get an elefent out of a safeway by removeing the s from safe and the f from way
Boy1: what do you get when you cross an elefant with a rhino?
Boy 2: i dont know, what do you get when you cross an elefant with a rhino?
Boy 1: Elephino*
*sounds like "hel if I know" |
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Super Speler
Super Awesome Dude
Calc Guru
Joined: 28 Nov 2005
Posts: 1391
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| Posted: 04 Nov 2008 08:24:15 pm Post subject: |
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I heard the first Chuck Norris Joke I've ever actually laughed at today: 'Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter'
I then proceeded to attempt to gargle peanut butter with hilarious results. |
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GloryMXE7
Puzzleman 3000
Active Member
Joined: 02 Nov 2008
Posts: 604
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| Posted: 14 Nov 2008 06:15:10 am Post subject: |
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the bermuda triangle used to be the bermuda square but chuck norris roundhouse kicked one of the sides clean off
wait is that how it goes i cant remember |
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Bronco
Member
Joined: 23 Oct 2008
Posts: 147
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| Posted: 14 Nov 2008 07:20:52 am Post subject: |
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GloryMXE7
Puzzleman 3000
Active Member
Joined: 02 Nov 2008
Posts: 604
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| Posted: 14 Nov 2008 04:52:13 pm Post subject: |
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heres some ChuckNorris jokes
1)did you know Chuck Norris' tears can cure aids..
too bad he never cries
2) Chuck norris does in fact live in a round house
3)Chuck Norris is greater than infinity, and is divisible by zero |
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Bronco
Member
Joined: 23 Oct 2008
Posts: 147
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| Posted: 14 Nov 2008 05:04:14 pm Post subject: |
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God: "Let there be light!"
Chuck Norris: "Say please." |
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GloryMXE7
Puzzleman 3000
Active Member
Joined: 02 Nov 2008
Posts: 604
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| Posted: 14 Nov 2008 05:19:20 pm Post subject: |
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not sure i like that one
chuck norris exists in the nth dimention |
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Open Topic & United-TI Talk => General Open Topic
