CDI
Advanced Member
Joined: 05 Nov 2005
Posts: 267
|
 Posted: 02 Jun 2006 02:26:01 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| It has come to my attention that in the later months of my short time spent in the community I haven't seen the best of it (as I had hoped) nor have I seen the worst of it (unless Hays Games was the worst of it). But what I have seen I haven't entirely liked... or disliked, but merely went with. I still find it disturbing that the seemingly best times that I experiences where back in late 2004 early 2005 and weren't even that great comparatively... But in the little under 3 years that I have been a member of this great community I have been through things that I never would have thought that I would go through (I'm sure we all have) and I have seen things that I'll never ever forget. I have made friends that have made a permanent impact upon me, and some that have glanced off me like water on a leaf. I have met famous people, and have befriended some of the best of us. I have made a decent sized impact on everyone I think I wanted to, and a few people that I have not wanted to. I (as with everything I do) did things that I later regretted, and things that I know now were a better idea than I thought at the time. I had the opportunity to join one of the most famous programming groups we have, but decided to join a slightly less famous one. I have helped numerous people in programming and in a few cases, real life problems. I have reached out to the one stable thing I saw and received the help that I asked for at times, and I have called upon my friends a fair amount of times. In retrospect I have found that at times I have been a bit more needy than necessary, and at other times I seem to have bit quite a bit self-centered, but I always try to make amends. I try and take everything in consideration more and more every day, and I have also attempted to become a better person to talk to. I also have known that at times, more often than not I am hard to talk to and get along with; I have the tendency to prefer my own opinion over the respected opinion of others, and it's caused some conflict. I tend to have spoken my mind a few too many times... but all in all everything was fun; yes, there have been people that I think don't deserve the brains they have, and there are other people that I think don't deserve the crap they go through (not only in the community, but elsewhere) and in the end' nobody is the same after any given day. And maybe I wouldn't have started this ride had someone handed me a big sign that said "Warning! Mental trials ahead" but the more I think about it, the more I think I would have just handed the sign back and got on anyways. In the end it's all the same anyways, we all just sit back and let things happen, and the few of us that actually go out and try to help get shot down. Maybe if there were more nice people around or maybe if we were all a little more open minded about everything... I personally, don't know, I have given it my all, which is more than most people do. But I guess it wasn't enough for me, I always wanted more and more out of myself and now it seems that I have burnt myself out, I no longer get great new ideas, nor do I have the incurable urge to program anything anymore... I have found myself releasing old and quite finished projects, and making "updates" on things that have been almost done for months (take RR for example, I made an "update" about more songs, I have had those for well back into 2005) but I kept lagging them on and on so people wouldn't get all worried and sorts. But now things have seemed to come to a sort of climax if you will, a point where personal issues, community issues, and general issues have affected me to a point where I don't think I can continue programming like this for very long but I can try... The only real problem that I keep coming across is that eventually I'll burn myself out and there will be no more of me left to participate with the community, so thusly, after I finish off the few real projects I have left, I think I may be done with calculator programming for quite some time. This may take quite some time to accomplish, so I have to set a cutoff date, because if I don't then I will not avoid the very avoidable, that is, not well at least. I know that this may anger some people, depress others, anger others still, and not even phase a few, but that's okay... In reality I don't want to hurt anyone, and it's not like I'm going to go anywhere... I'll still stick around IRC every now and then and hell, I even give a few people a ring (if they want) and I'll post every now and again... Lest this is anything bad, and it isn't anyone's fault, nobody is to blame and nobody can "fix" this because it's not broken, it never was, and never will be broken. I admit that I think I have let my personal life affect my decisions here, but then again, who hasn't? I guess that all in all we think that something needs changed... and sometimes they do, but sometimes we need to sit back, take a nice wide look at it all, breathe deep and let it go... no matter how much it hurts... but that is all okay, because we all can learn and we can move on... |
|
Community News & Discuss Nspire => Technology & Calculator Open Topic
