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General Open Topic
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SniperOfTheNight
Advanced Member
Joined: 24 May 2003
Posts: 260
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 Posted: 03 Sep 2003 03:26:29 pm Post subject: |
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IT'S FUNNY
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous
he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had
done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
I noticed a couple of mistakes with your serman today, I just wanted to let you be aware of them. Here's a list of what you should fix:
1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his
a.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late
J. C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not
referred to
as
Daddy,
Junior
and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the
shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was
knocked off his donkey,don't say he was stoned off his a.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big
T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last
Supper he said,
"Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat
me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with
the Cherry,"
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not:
Rub-A-Dub-Dub
thanks for
the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling
contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
Last edited by Guest on 03 Sep 2003 03:27:28 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Arcane Wizard
`semi-hippie`
Super Elite (Last Title)
Joined: 02 Jun 2003
Posts: 8993
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| Posted: 04 Sep 2003 08:37:53 am Post subject: |
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| I might go to church for a laugh sometimes if it really was like that, hehe. |
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Adm.Wiggin
aka Tianon
Know-It-All
Joined: 02 Jun 2003
Posts: 1874
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| Posted: 04 Sep 2003 05:58:12 pm Post subject: |
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| oh man, that is rich! harharhar! |
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62 52 53 53
Formerly known as 62 52 53 53
Active Member
Joined: 30 May 2003
Posts: 607
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| Posted: 04 Sep 2003 07:47:51 pm Post subject: |
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| hhahfahahahahhaahaahhahahahhaha!!!2 Funyy! |
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Arcane Wizard
`semi-hippie`
Super Elite (Last Title)
Joined: 02 Jun 2003
Posts: 8993
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| Posted: 05 Sep 2003 07:52:22 am Post subject: |
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| This deserves another hehe. |
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Darth Android
DragonOS Dev Team
Bandwidth Hog
Joined: 31 May 2003
Posts: 2104
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| Posted: 05 Sep 2003 11:58:10 am Post subject: |
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i read this at school in the library. many ppl started to look at me funny bcuz i woulndt stop laughing. not that i wanted too.  |
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