Redmond, WA - In a move that surprised industry analysts, today Microsoft declared that it was acquiring Cemetech for $20 billion. This announcement comes mere days after the first indications that Microsoft was interested in Cemetech. "We feel this company shows a great deal of potential and has incredible amounts of talent in a variety of technological fields," said Bill Gates, the Chief Software Engineer of Microsoft. At a meeting at Cemetech's headquarters in Cemetech City, the two agreed to the terms of the deal and mutually agreed they looked forward to working together. "This is a momentuous occasion and I am happy to be a part of it," said Kerm Martian, the President and Founder of Cemetech. (AP)

This is a JOKE people. Don't start suing me. :P

Looks like somebody thought they could monopolize the calculator industry as well, with the purchase of their counter part operating system...Doors So I guess the next version of Doors will be out soon, seeing as how there will no longer be any debugging Good fake news

FINALLY! now Kerm can buy a speedy new webhost

Does this mean I get a payraise, and that Kerm can hire someone to fix the online users bug?

it says i'm online twice

Yup, we've learned how to clone people too.

That's because every member has become twice as valuable, according to our stock.

lol, you've done a "split", hahaha

lol, good one Kerm! Must say though, the pic is a lil off...

Is that by any chance a picture of Cheney and Bush that's been edited?

well, good knowing you, but being a M$ hater, and Linux lover, I must resign all posts here due to me not wanting to affiliate with them.

Please note, I am joking, I hope this was apparent also

@Chipmaster: nope, random "handshake" pic from google images
@Rivereye
@TI-Freak: I know, I only spent like 20 mins on it

I hope you read the subtext

Apparently you didn't read the gray text under the pic then. Hint: ctrl-a

actually I did, I was just going along. Making sure you picked up on it

K, no, I actually didn't until you mentioned it.
I need to think up a good April Fools' joke. Hmmm...preferably something halfway believeable...

I thought it was clear

What do you mean? of course Cemetech was purchased by Micro$soft!

real smooth Kerm

hmm... fake news... yummy... *thinks* nope!

Thanks Alex. I was gonna post this as frontpage news but decided I need to work on something more elaborate for that.