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This is an archived, read-only copy of the United-TI subforum , including posts and topic from May 2003 to April 2012. If you would like to discuss any of the topics in this forum, you can visit Cemetech's General Open Topic subforum. Some of these topics may also be directly-linked to active Cemetech topics. If you are a Cemetech member with a linked United-TI account, you can link United-TI topics here with your current Cemetech topics.

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Author Message
Crimson Dragon Software


Joined: 14 Jun 2003
Posts: 880

Posted: 22 Feb 2004 07:55:58 pm    Post subject:

1. You type homework in ASM.
2. As you are typing, you omitted the ), }, and ].
3. You start every line with a colon.
4. You only buy clothes with pockets big enough for your TI.
5. You replicated a GBA game...exactly...on the TI-83+.
6. You talk in BASIC.
7. When you do a math problem that requires you show your work, you put in a number, and then prgmCODEX.
8. You made your own TI-calculator.
9. you crash your calculator more than windows crashes your computer
10. you can type in the dark (i can!)
11. you devote part of your day to leaning to type faster.
12. using your ti, you discover that "83+" is the real answer to the univers, not 42
13. you buy a four function calculator just so you can have every calculator TI ever made
14. you can't wait for the release of the 84+SE, because you filled the archive of your 83+SE
15. You have memorized all the hex byte/ asm code equivalents.
16. You type on your TI calculator faster than on the computer.
17. You have made a program to connect to the internet from your calculator.
18. You enjoy listening to music made by your calculator.
19. You carry 8 or more AAA batteries with you to school.
20. When you are on the computer and need to do math, you use VTI not the Microsoft Calculator.
21. When given a Basic function you can instantly say how to find it quickly in the Catalog menu.
22. You take notes in class using your TI calculator.
23. You have memorized all of the bcall equates to program asm easily on-calc.
24. You make a t-shirt that says I love TI.
25. You take pictures of it and stick them in your wallet.
26. You have used the finance functions in programs.
27. You have a box mounted on your wall that says smash open in case of emergency with four AAA batteries in it.
28. You use ()s and a / instead of a division bar when writing equations.
29. You know the syntax of the omnicalc sprite( function.
30. You have posted more than 100
boxes in this forum somewhere.
31. you discovered a way to delete the finance app
32. You can quote the TI manual at will, and have 3 or more copies of it somewhere on your computer.
33. You have 5 or more shells on your calc, including one you are programming yourself.
34. You can think of more than 100 addicted-to-calculator jokes.
35. You buy a keyboard for your calc.
36. You give it away because you can type faster without it.
37. You hold a funeral if it dies
38. You take it everywhere
39. You call it your precious
40. You sleep with it at night
41. You call your calculator "it" and people automatically know what you mean.
42. You give it a name.
43. You buy another one even though you have one.
44. You use your calculator on verbal foreign language tests.
45. You use it to add 2+2
46. You do that faster than you would in your head.
47. You have memorised your calculator's ID number.
48. You get it painted another color.
49. You install a light in your calculator to program at night.
50. You dream about calculators.
51. You put grips on it because you use it so much.
52. The Case slides right off from being so worn down (too much using)
53. You say you are addicted.
54. You hope there is a calc heaven.
55. You program in your sleep.
56. You memorize this list.
57. You can recite from memory your entire calc memory in hex
58. The buttons on the calc have been imprinted on your hands because you use it so much.
59. You know the contrast of the screen without adjusting it.
60. You can can recite the OP codes for all of the instructions.
61. You can hook your calculator directly to the Internet.
62. You have more than 50 posts in this forum.
63. You are a member of more than 3 calc groups.
64. You no longer say "calculator".
65. You program windows on your calc in your spare time for training.
66. You refer to it as training.
67. You've contributed to this list.
68. you manage to program windows on your calc better than the real thing
69. You appreciate the irony in that statement Laughing
70. your firends think it's Dooms Day when you leave it at home (yes, my friends DO do this to me)
71. You've had to been told not to stick anything into the link port
72. you call an ambulance every time you drop it
73. when you sllep with it, you wake up every 2-3 minutes to make sure it didnt disappear
74. your firends start calling it by the name you gave it
75. you hold a conversation with it (you might want to talk to a phsyciatrist while your at it too)
76. You've got a modified OS where you have lots of function a regular TI83+ doens't have.
77. You've made your own linkcable of a lancable (I did Razz )
78. You overclocked "it" (or underclocked Neutral )
79. You made a casemod for you calculator
80. You change its batteries every night.
81. You polish it every week.
82. You installed a separate hard drive for it.
83. You think in BASIC. You think philosophy in ASM.
84. You can type with one hand without looking at it, therefore you program while eating, while doing your homework, while watching TV, and while DRIVING.
85. When there is a fire, before taking your wallet and IDs to escape, you take your calculator.
86. You think of it as a pet. So you feed it every day with fresh batteries. You groom it by polishing it every week. You even pet it.
87. You take it to travel.
88. You actually changed the OS.
89. You're never more than 100 feet from it.
90. You have a screen protector, and you carry spares in your back pocket.
91. You carry accessories for it, even if you don't use them.
92. You installed linux on it.
93. And you use it as a host for your personal website.
94. its faster than most website hosts
95. you get married
96. you call it "honey"
97. you carry extra calculators in case your main one breaks
98. your teacher thinks that because you know everything about the calculator and you've manages to reduce BSODs to 1/day, you know everything about macs (not fun sad.gif )
99.You've gotten a BSOD on your calculator
100. you got it its own, SSID, PIN, Driver's licence, and photo ID
101. When you do this.
102. When you get involved in a massive argument about who has the most powerful calculator, and how early. (Read the discussion)
103. When that argument leads you to saying this:
RRRReeeeeeeeeeeeeee: 7th Grade Student Overclocks TI-89 A Bit Too Much
(Web Page)
What do you mean "Why do you need anything more, unless you just can't do the math?" Don't you understand the deep psychological dependancy these calculators have developed with us owners? If we weren't to buy the latest calc every time TI came out with one, they would sit on the shelves like so many orphaned children begging us to pick them up, comfort them by taking them with us everywhere, feed them by filling their memory's with fun games, making them proud when they do beat their casio counterparts at simply polar graphing, and teaching them what calculators not to hang out with...then we would be no better than those people who do calculations by hand! Away with such fiendish thoughts! How could you say that with my brother's TI-83+ and my TI-86 lying so close to the computer?

Does any one know if the plans for that TI-89 enhanced with Ra 88 will be released?

104. You have managed to make an IR link.
105. You put an IR link to you and your friend's calculator, and hacked it to Mem clear.
106. When you dissected it, took that crappy 8Hz processor off, and put in a P4.
107. While doing so, you also put in a 20G hard drive (I've found a 20G drive on a PC magazine that is the size of a palm.)
108. When you hacked the White House with that.
109. You have been "last week's most downloaded author" on ticalc.org at least once.
110. When you wake up in the morning, the first thing you do is check up on your game in the "start your project" forum.
111. You have at least 5 groups to back up your favorite games.
112. You sleep with it, like a teddy bear it is. (No, don't go there)
113. You successfully programmed it in another language
114. You managed to completely wipe out your calculator (including the OS)
115. You have the ENTIRE TI collection.
116. You changed it into a Gameboy advance.
117. You managed to get Programmer of the Year.
118. You compiled this list >_<
119. You say you'll live with it happily ever after.
120. You hold calculator birthday celebrations.
121. You program wherever you are.
122. You think as a calculator, so when you don't understand something, you say: ERR: SYNTAX
123. With that reason, when you get a headache, you say: ERR:OVERFLOW
124. When you can't remember something but you know it, you say: ERR:ARCHIVED.
125. You are surprised that you don't see everything in black and white pixels.
126. When you're busy thinking you visualize a black moving bar on the top right corner of your sight.
127. You spend most of your time, when you're not programming, browsing forums for the fourth time that day.
128. When you make your calculator 128-bit.
129. When you say ERR: INVALID DIM when somebody made you remember too much.
130. When you say ERR: MEMORY when you are cramming in an exam.
131. When you say ERR: DOMAIN when you hear some other language.
132. When you mistakenly called you computer your calculator.
133. You have a TI Keyboard.
134. You use it to do all your typing of notes and papers.
135. You figured out how to attach your calc to a printer.
136. You attached your calc to your computer to type with instead of your keyboard.
137. You don't let anyone use your calc for fear of fingerprints.
138. You wear gloves when using it for the same reason.
139. People know not to bother you whenever you're hunched over and toying with something.
140. You know enough about calculators to scare someone.
141. You have gotten ERR:ILLEGAL NEST on your calc.
142. You have compiled a list of all possible error messages Wink
143. When you are angry at someone, you call him an ERR:DIM MISMATCH
144. Your drawing teacher gets mad at you for not using color and taking a minute to draw a circle.
145. After five minutes of inactivity, you go to sleep.
146. You carry more than one spare CR1616 or CR1620 battery with you at all times.
147. You rip a piece of paper up trying to do ZInteger.
148. You have successfully reprogrammed all TI bcalls and put them into a 1K program.
149. You have ported the grayscale phoenix to basic at no speed loss.
150. When playing fast tunnel on your friend's calc, you confuse the left and right keys often and attempt to type "GREENLIGHTGO" after every loss.
151. When beating your friend at chess, you say "Tou lost."
152. You have cleared your RAM using pure basic.
153. You have made your face turn completely blue using only asm operations.
154. When you go to enter an URL into the Address bar, your fingers automatically enter "forums.unitedti.org" or "www.ticalc.org" or something similar.
155. Your avatar at forums that support them is a picture of your calculator.
156. Your signature has something to do with calculators.
157. You showed your calculator to your friend, he took one look at it and ran away screaming.
158. You made a satellite uplink for your calculator.
159. And with that, you planted a nuke into Afghanistan.
160. You can archive programs in BASIC.
161. You added millions of features to your calc, including Internet access, cell phone access, a power port, a USB port, and firewall against ASM crashes.
162. You made Visual TI-BASIC.
163. You fear people holding calculators, they may be plotting to crash your calc.
164. You figure out how to make a color screen work in your TI
165. your house is calc operated
166. your calc is better than your Alienware area 51 laptop
167. You ported gemini to BASIC and it runs faster than in and only takes up 1K
168. You offer to keep an up-to-date list of these signs of addictions.
169. You enlisted your calc for adoption because you feel you're not good enough for it.
170. You cancelled the adoption enlistment after buying 100 miles of woodland for your calc for it to roam free on.
171. You have set up a 10000 V electric fence around those 100 miles to ensure poachers can't get in.
172. You go crazy if you see a casio or hp calculator around you.
173. You experience signs of withdrawal if your calculator is away from you for more than five minutes.
174. You say "Low batteries" when you're hungry.
175. When you decide to quit using your calculator, you need to carry around a TI-34II for a while to prevent withdrawal sickness.
176. You are a mod here and raise my warning level for the previous sign of addiction.
177. You have ported Calcsys, Fate by Fire, and NimbusOS to basic.
178. You have stored these signs of addiction to your calculator.
179. Your new basic game uses no variables other than Ans for optimisation purposes.
180. Your calculator is fluent in more than one foreign language.
181. You have created a calculator virus that harms the calculator user with hypnotising pictures.
182. You have memorised the table of all one-byte and two-byte tokens.
183. You have reprogrammed your basic game using direct key input.
184. You have created a separate login here at UnitedTI for your calculator.
185. You have learned chinese just to understand the language localisation software you've gotten for your calc.
186. Your calculator display is now in Times New Roman so you can write essays better.
187. Your drawing career is at an end after the teacher discovers a mini printer and a TI you were hiding under your desk.
188. You have a separate TI calculator for each subject.
189. You have more than 10 versions of Phoenix on your calculator.
190. One of those was created by you.
191. You have made archiving possible on the 83.
192. You have written your name to the calc's ID to make sure no one steals it.
193. You change your TI's case every day.
194. Your TI tells you the color to change the case to.
195. Your favorite colors are black and this pale yellow-greenish color.
196. You reprogram the TI-OS to encompass an extra terrabyte of RAM and ROM each.
197. You strap on that extra terrabyte of ROM so you can download all of the ticalc.org archive.
198. You program an emulator for every calculator ever made.
199. You port it to basic.
200. You make the calculator decode the entire human DNA.
201. You have a homepage about calculators Smile
202. it's smarter than you
203. you build a robot and use the calculator as a "brain"
203. you cant find the 2nd key on the computer keyboard (done that at 2:00 AM)
204. you put one there and write software for it
205. you have a TI-99 4A, and use it
In the following, "Vera" refers to the name of your calculator. It's the name of [Sir Robin's], so please mentally insert the name of yours when reading it.
206. Vera is a Super Elite (Last Title) poster here.
207. The teacher took Vera because it said "Vera" instead of your name on the back in the "Name/Nom" space.
208. Vera can write programs on itself.
209. You never turn Vera off.
210. Your girlfriend broke up with you because you kept accidentally calling her Vera.
211. Vera posted at least one of these signs of addiction.
212. You entered Vera in the programming contest.
215. When you are waiting for somebody, you imagine a blinking black bar on the top right corner of your sight.
216. You host a TI-83+ beauty contest.
217. You have no brains...you use your calculator's.
218. You say RAM cleared when you wake up.
219. You periodically clear your calculator's memory to eliminate errors.
220. All the key labels have been worn off, but it doesn't matter 'cuz you have the entire layout memorized anyway.
221. You lodge a complaint with Nintendo about the backward button placement on the Game Boy.
222. You firmly believe that calculator games are superior to Game Boy games (and not just because they're free).
223. You're utterly incapable of entering your name on a Game Boy using an on-screen alphanumeric matrix.
224. Allt those small paddings in the corners of the calc have fallen off.
225. Your calc has fallen apart multiple times.
226. You will be the first one to get a TI-84 Plus.
227. You instantly fill up an empty calculator.
228. When you try to teach someone TI-BASIC, they get confused because you program too fast, you're supposed to say PRGM, I/O, Output(. Instead you did all this in the fraction of a second: PRGM, Right, 6.
229. You made a movie in your calculator, no flickering.
230. You need to use tape to hold Vera together.
231. Vera calls you Daddy.
232. Vera has more parts in her that you put in than she came with.
233. You have periods of short-term amnesia when writing essays in Asm.
234. Your wall calendar says "365 Things to Do with your TI Calculator".
235. You teach your 3-year old brother how to use your calculator.
236. You accidentally typed "calculator" for "brother" in the previous sign of addiction.
237. You call Vera "mei mei" or "little sister".
238. You remember to within an hour Vera's age.
239. You found out when exactly Vera was manufactured because she told you.
240. You want there to be a separate calculators only forum.
241. You made it a habit to warm-up exercise your fingers before programming by typing your ten-page report.
242. Fixen wants to link to other calculators often, he says he gets to talk to others with it.
243. Fixen felt lonely when turned off.
244. Fixen often gets angry at your crappy TI-BASIC skills that he replaced ERR:SYNTAX to ERR:RTFM.
245. Fixen displays his anger of syntax by wiping himself out.
246. Fixen likes fresh batteries, to keep him happy, you carry a load around.
247. Fixen likes to make clones of itself, and keeps bugging you to back him up.
248. You had to get a 50G hard drive so you could fit all of Vera's backups.
249. Vera says "Oh no, not again" instead of the Ram Cleared message.
250. You reprogrammed the sin( and cos( functions so they'd be faster.
251. You bought it an umbrella so you can program in the rain.
252. You bought it scuba-diving gear.
253. You install and program a color moniter so that it is compatible with Basic.
254. You anticipate nano-technology so you can make your calc faster.
255. you make your own OS
256. TI wants to pay you for the rights to it
257. You do stuff with the calc that they cant in your OS
258. Your oldest calculator is a TI-80.
259. You added graphing capabilities to a TI-30.
260. You built a mini-reactor for your calculator's power supply.
261. Fixen says he's addicted to TI.
262. Fixen updates himself, your friends are shocked when they see TI-OS v.5.80.
263. Fixen made himself colorful.
264. Fixen displayed BORN: I DON'T KNOW and DEATH: TODAY in his mem clear.
265. You attached your calc to a robot instead of a computer.
266. It actually worked.
267. Your calculator speaks to you.
268. You burned out your calculator at least once.
269. When you lost it, you called the FBI: Missing Children Department.
Vera wrote:
Sir Robin: My batteries need replacing. they have been low for about 30 seconds. you really should finish that power supply for me Smile

270. When we calcs get together on the HCN (Hex Calc Network)
271. When your calculator adds to this list.
272. Your math teacher threatens to take your calc (and only yours) away.
273. When "life" is typed into your calculator, it gives an Error: Unknown Function response.
274. You dream of building a Mars Rover with your TI-83 as the brain
275. You have heaps of unfinished ASM projects ... that will be finished ... one day Smile.
276. Your thinking of making a 3d engine for your calc
277. You know that 'C9' = ret
278. You have half of the ticalc.org archives on your computer
279. You dont pay attention in math, rather you program your calc
280. You spent so much time on your calculator that you correct your teacher on how to use it.
281. Whenever you get in a fight, your calculator is the first thing you think of protecting.
282. You've installed a wireless internet connection on your calculator and regularly check ticalc.org for updates.
283. You see everything in black & white ... but if you blink really fast you can create GrayScale!!!
284. You have your calc holstered at your hip. You are the quickest draw in school.
285. Mario first appeared on the Ti-calc before anything else.
286. When quoting the game systems you own to friends ... your calc is always at the top of the list.
287. You have a tatoo of your calcs serial number with an arrow through it.
288. You are 'really' excited about new games that are coming out for calcs .... even more excited than other games for PC/Consoles.
289. You pity those who dont own a TI-Calc.
290. Your calc has little marks around the edges from when you opened it with a screwdriver.
291. You have at least 1 missing screw.
292. After a long night of calc playing, you are amazed at how well your windsheild can smoothly scroll a road, and even has and optional windshield wiper effect.
293. Your calc has caused you near-sightedness.
294. Calc programming helps you fall asleep.
295. You have memorized all the numbers for the selections on the Basic command menus.
296. You learn ahead in your math class in order to improve your game, but have no idea what is going on in that class right now.
297. You have watched the Metroid screenshots so many times that you have memorized the levels.
298. You know what every number does in Codex.
299. Your parents say you should read or make homework instead of playing with your calc.
300. You have programmed a firewall to protect it from hackers.
301. You've programmed and played games on your calculator so much that certain buttons have now ceased to function.......
302. You have a part-time job soley to support your "Battery Fund"
303. You have an empty jar labelled "Battery Fund."
304. Your calc has been the main cause of most of your break-ups.
305. Your girlfriend asks you who "Vera" is.
306. Apparently, you talk about Vera while you sleep.
307. When your girlfriend asks who is prettier, you don't know what to say.
308. At any given time you have more than 2 sets of fresh AAA batteries with you in case one or more sets die from extreme overuse.
309. you've made it into a hover craft
310. You can hack into any government institution with it.
311. You played a computer game using a calc as input.
312. You beat the game with it.
313. Your LCD is scratched like hell.
314. You're amazed at the way your window models the clouds moving, and gradually moving sunsets. There is also some white streaks forming once in a while.
315. You failed school because of TI.
316. You vision yourself working as a TI-programmer.
317. You have a 10 feet steel door in your room, it has an electronic lock. In there is your "armory."
318. Your "armory" consists of boxes of batteries, the whole line of calculators, and a case of links.
319. You repair calculators for a living.
320. TI sued you because you modified your calc, and made copies to sell.
321. You get confused between your calc's keypad and your computer keyboard.
322. With the reason of 321, you mistook and used thumbs to type.
323. With the reason of 321, you held up your keyboard and looked at it.
324. With the reason of 321, you can't find [PRGM], [2ND], [ALPHA], etc.
325. There are little striae between the keys.
326. Whenever you're separated you have panic attacks worrying it might be stolen/lost
327. You tried to tell your principal you were late for school because some output a %00000000 to your 3h port.
328. After eating a lot of sugar and drinking a lot of coffee/diet coke, you say you just sent %00000011 to your 4h port.
329. You have visited this site so often you have discovered all it's links and possibilities (like that there is a link on each topic that shows who has posted in it...)
330. You use your calculator longer times than your computer (time on this forum doesn't count Smile)
331. You can program with your left hand while taking notes with your right. (Or opposite, depending on your preference.)
Sir Robin wrote:
Oh and Vera, I thought I told you not to get on the computer alone...

332. On the school bus, Vera gets a separate seat.
333. You output values of 40 - 7F to your 10th port for stretching in the morning.
334. Vera can play a DVD if you roll it up so it fits in the link port.
335. Vera listens to music by plugging the player into the link port instead of the head phones.
336. Vera can talk to you when you plug your headphones into the link port.
337. Vera can connect to her younger sister, my TI89 (as yet unnamed) through the link port.
338. You forget the social ranking of your calcs Mad
339. You have NiMH Rechargeable batteries for 'Vera'.
340. You use your overclocked 83+SE with a 5 TB expander to break the world record for calculating pi.
341. You type "ti" instead of "it" and realize it as more than a simple typo, so much so that you apend it to this list.
342. You name your calc twice.
343. You buy furniture for Fusion. You have a connector port slapstand, you have TI-keyboard, you have the TI notebook pocket, etc.
344. You exaggerate what benefits you give to your calculator.
345. Your calculator has more posts here than you do
346. Your calculator forgets the social rankings of your calculators.
347. You talk to your calculator (Vera) through this forum Smile
348. You use miniscule brushes and water mist to clean the outercase of your calculator, taking at least three hours.
349. Due to extensive overuse Vera's screen is dirty anyway.
350. You make Vera screen wipers.
351. You go back in time to correct a numbering error in this topic.
352. vera's screen wipers break from over use.
353. You program so much that your vision constantly goes blurry.
354. You'd rather program than sleep.
355. When you programmed your calculator to have emotions.
356. When your calculator cries when you get a few meters away from it.
357. To pacify it, you pocket it with you wherever you go.
358. When we calculators bond with our users so much that we can't bear to separate.
359. When you hire an SAS VIP protection team to protect you from your calc.
360. You expect your calculator to correct your typing.
361. You can tell your calculator exactly what you think of her.
362. Your calculator can tell what you're thinking and autocompletes what you're typing for you.
363. You call your calc a she.
364. You have memorized your calc's character map.
365. You have memorized a character map for a calc you don't own.
366. You can program half the games on ticalc.org's TI-83+ Basic games list in a single period at school.
367. You have downloaded and improved every game on ticalc
368. You prefer listening to calculator music rather than normal music.
369. You have programmed a piano program.
370. To remove errors because of ASM testing in your calculator, you clear your RAM every day.
371. You go to more than one TI-calculator forum.
372. Your calculator goes to more than one calculator forum.
373. You write a chat program so you can communicate to people faster than talking.
374. Your homework assignment is in capital letters to save space.
375. You flunked the "Parentheses, Quotation Marks, and Colons" test in English class.
376. You have found a key to type the mysterious " Evil or Very Mad" character on your calculator.
377. You can't sleep at night unless your calc is tightly in your grasp.
378. You take your calc as your prom date.
379. When, in your CS class you type "B_CALL cout" and can't for the life of you figure out why it won't compile.
380. When you get into holy wars over which calculator has the better menu system.
381. When you embark on a terrorist campaign against HP and Casio.
382. When you have a one-year subscription to "Playcalc".
383. When your lifelong ambition is to visit the Playcalc mansion and meet the Playcalc Transistors Smile .
384. When you link calculators with sex.
385. Your calculator is a senior at your school.
386. You can't count to 65536.
387. You no longer think [picture of 4-function calculator] is a calculator (It doesn't have 64x96 pixels! and there is no prgm button!)
(next ten from ticalc.org newsletter @ August 2003)
388. You dream about meeting someone someday who recognizes you from the TI community.
389. You plan your summer vacation to include visits to ticalc.org staff members.
390. You type "www." into a browser window, and your fingers automatically finish it with "ticalc.org".
391. You have considered various ways of printing the nearly 1400-page manual for the 89/92+ Flash SDK.
392. When you go over to a friend's house, he doesn't ask, "Did you bring a calculator?", but rather, "How many calculators did you bring?"
393. When someone mentions the name Dan, your first thought is "Englender or Eble?"
394. You would consider moving to Phoenix, AZ or Fargo, ND just because the names are vaguely familiar.
395. The first thing you do in the morning is read the overnight chat log from #tcpa.
396. You own an article of clothing autographed by a ticalc.org staff member.
397. Your teacher says something about ions, and your mind jumps to Joe Wingbermuele.
398. You know what the abbreviations UTI, DFP, MOS, and others mean.
399. You sign up your calc for bodybuilding.
400. It can lift you.
401. You have seen The Passion of the TI-83+
402. You carry a medical kit for your calc in which you carry:

  • spare batteries (including the CR)

  • a screen cleaner

  • spare stickers for the case

  • spare case

403. In that kit you also include pipe cleaners for the linkport.
404. You make the kits yourself and keep a few extras around, just in case.
405. You sell your kits through TIe-bay and make a profit.
406. You put it in an account in Vera's name.
407. You can beat "Super Mario 3: World 1" in less than 2 minutes
408. You have beaten both Charlie O's and Patrick Davidson's highscores in Phoenix
409. You have various programs that were "Featured" in ticalc.org
410. You have both a screensaver AND your Desktop image are related to TI's
411. Instead of flipping a coin, you write a "randInt" program
412. You know more than one TI language including TI-BASIC, ASM, TI-POWER, etc...
413. You have downloaded "Index of all files on ticalc.org" at least 5 times
414. You have TI-programmed a 2,500 word dictionary just so you can have an excuse to use "it" during English class
415. You precede all English words by the lowercase letter "z
416. You have more than 3 linking programs
417. after a big test you calculater is littered with small programs that you had made during the test
418. you made a program in asm that ports other asm programs to basic, and then ported it to basic and redisigned it to port basic programs to asm so you could port it back to asm and back
419. The Calculator icon on your desktop goes to VTI.
420. You have used the binompdf( and similar functions in programs.
421. You know the syntax for the Shade( function.
422. You have replaced the Shift and Ctrl keys on your keyboard with Alpha and 2nd.
423. You have memorised the TI-83 Symbols font.
424. You have optimised half of your TI's functions using basic programs.
424. Your Ti83(x) manual has it's own bookcase.
425. Your bible doesn't.
426. You have manuals for calculators you don't own.
427. You have asked TI for an exclusive hardcover edition of the manual.
428. You got Michael Vincent to autograph it.
429. You can beat any game in the dark
430. You have backlighted your TI so you don't have to
431. You have uploaded a whole movie and still have space to spare
432. You prefer playing a new TI game than a new PS2 game
433. You link your 83+ to your pc to play against yourself on your VTI
444. You have linked two VTI's over the net to play a 2-player game with your friends
445. You have programmed a shell in BASIC
456. The word "program" does not exist to you. The word "prgm" does.
457. You automatically put a "#" in front of the words 'include' and 'define'
458. You have all translucent color cases from ti.com
459. You hade made a TI-Compatible joystick
460. ION is your start-up program
461. You still have all applications that came with the TI-83+ SE (including the ones in foreign languages)
462. You bring your calc with you everywhere... malls, movies, post offices, Pizza Huts, etc...
463. You have memorized the entire TI manual.
464. You have deleted the "Catalog Help" application... you don't need it anymore
465. you never needed the catalog help app in the first place
466. when your parents tell you to do something you tell them to jp $FFFF
467. You are intimately familiar with the circuitry of your calculator.
468. When any of your friends' calculators breaks, they automatically call you.
469. You have more than one of any calculator model.
470. You think in calc keypresses - when asked how to delete a program, you say "second mem two seven"
471. You can touchtype faster than 40 wpm on the calc keyboard
472. Your classmates have won bets based on this ability.
473. You have made a waterproof case for your calculator
474. The case has a built-in wireless networking adapter - for a calculator.
475. When your friend tells his parents to "jp $FFFF", you optimize him to "rst 00h".
476. When your friend tells his parents to "jp $FFFF", and you belong to the CCG, you optimize him to

set 7,a
sra a\ sra a\ sra a\ sra a\ sra a\ sra a\ sra a
ld d,a
ld e,a
push de
pop ix
jp (ix)

477. You know how to use every single function on your calculator, plus all of your friends calculators as well.
478. When everyone comes up to you and asks, "So... wut's the new game this week?"
479. When someone ask you to count to 100, you automatically say, "For(X,0,100"
480. When you're playing a game that is not on the calc, you're thinking of ways you could program it in BASIC or ASM
481. You never play any game that is not on your calc
482. You change number 479 to seq(X,X,1,100
483. You assume the someone meant hexadecimal and change the 100 to 256.
484. When you see the new calculator costs $119, you think that is hexadecimal.
485. You buy the calculator anyway.
486. You plan on overclocking your brand new TI-84 Plus Silver or TI-89 Platinum.
487. You plan on buying an already-overclocked calculator if you can find one.
488. You have added an extra key to your calculator.
489. Your calculator has an 8-speed overclock switch.
490. You re-backlight your calculator every week because you want to switch to a new color.
491. You have put your calculator in a new case, waterproof for depths of up to 500 meters.
492. You carefully replace the foam inside the case every day.
493. Your default application for opening text files is VTI.
494. You connected a lava lamp to your calc through your link port so you could create some "truly random" numbers.
495. You can reproduce random numbers generated by your calc in your head.
496. You keep your computer monitor at 96x64 resolution.
497. You download all apps available from ti.com
498. You have over 30 StudyCards™ downloaded in your calc
499. You have made over 32.7% of those StudyCards™
500. You have read all available tutorials for your calc and other brands
501. You despise Casio and HP users and try to convinve them to buy a TI
502. You turn off your VTI calculator before exiting VTI.
503. You open a calculator body shop.
504. Your calculator has a solar cell with backup batteries guaranteed to run forever.
505. You filled your calculator with new keys on every available space.
506. Your calculator can interpret any language in the world.
507. Your class president campaign slogan is "Fixen, protecting your calculator's welfare."
508. You set up chat network cables in your school's classrooms.
509. You program stupid homescreen games during french class even when you don't have your calc with you.
510. You have remapped your calc's keyboard, changing half of the keys to modifier keys to maximize keypress possibilities.
511. Your Basic programs work faster than most Asm programs.
512. You have or own more calcs than you need.
513. All you think about is programming, and programming.

515. You think "ERR:SYNTAX" whenever you're reading and you see an exclamation mark.
516. You have written a search program to keep track of all your other programs.
517. You know 200 significantly different ways to cause ERR:SYNTAX on your calc, 50 without an available Goto.
517. You can create a calculator stock market game that exactly emulates the stock market.
517.5. In BASIC.
518. You are mute except if speakers are plugged into your ears.
519. You know the way to make the LCD explode, sending hot liquid crystals onto the victim's face.
520. You only buy special Duracell M3 batteries for your calc, cuz you think only the best is good enough for her.
521. You think calculator isn't respectful enough, so instead, you call it a graphing handheld
522. You send a letter to every manufacturer of batteries because you want them to make special TI-83 plus batteries
523. you make them yourself, cuz you cant wait for them slow manufacterers
524. You make a lot of money out of them.
525. You hack the ticalc.org server computer so you can easily copy all the files to your own computer.
525. You hack the ticalc.org server computer using your graphing handheld so you can easily copy all the files to your graphing handheld.
526. With that files you make the site tigraphinghandheld.org, for the reason of 521
527. You upload a quadratic equation program to tigraphinghandheld.org
528. You are so stupid you try the link above...
529. You find it doesn't exist and decide to create it.
530. When someone asks for you're favorite place to go on a holiday, you say Texas
531. When someone tells you he plays an instrument, you ask him 83(+) or 89(+)
532. When you get into debates on whether TI should have used the 8085*/6502/6800/Z80 to power the calculators.
*Wash your mouth out now.
533. You have programmed more than one musical instrument into your gh.
534. You make an 89+
535. ticalc.org (and tigh.org) make an 89+ category.
536. You are the first to upload the first 100 89+ games, all written in C or 68k Asm.
537. The 89+ somehow also understood z80.
538. You rewrite the 100 programs in z80 and upload them.
539. You also write your own version of TIGCC.
540. Your Quad Equ program is accepted. (It's really that good Laughing)
541. you make windows xp for the 89 +
542. The 89 + has a color display, because you used a GBA screen
543. The color screen is fully supported by that first 100 programs
544.To protect your calculator, you have made a startup program that requires you to type lines at over 100 words per minute or the calculator turns off.
Brazucs wrote:
anyways.... who's gonna compile this??

545. When brazucs16 says compile, you think TASM.
546. When Sir Robin says "When brazucs16 says compile, you think TASM.", you slap him upside the head and say "assemble". Smile
547. You think the TI-83 plus is the greatest invention ever, not the fire or the wheel.
548. You own more than two TI-83 Plus calculators (because 2 is just normal).
kermmartian wrote:
I think I have four from old ones people have given me...I plan to create a parallel processing unit with them.

550. You think that TI calculators are the only reasonable christmas gifts.
551. You think "AsmComp(" when you think compile.
552. You tried using that command on this forum thread.
553. You call your calc "wife"
554. You call your other calc "lover"
555. You call your third calc "girlfriend"
556. You call the TI-84 Plus "Jeniffer Lopez"
557. You call the TI-89 Platinum "Jeniffer Aniston"
558. You have no other friends except your vast array of calculators
559. You have a crush on your math teacher //not saying ANYTHING about myself, I'm not gay
560. You hate your English teacher
561. If you don't do you homework, you tell your teacher you were programming and expect it to be a legitimate and excusable reason
562. You would beat up anyone who calls your TI "just a calculator"
563. You have a speech entitled "Why I Love My TI so much" on NoteFolio, in case anyone asks
564. You dream of working for TI one day and will gladly move to Texas to achieve this goal
565. You are already working on your Texan accent and "Don't mess with Texas" outlook on life
566. You open up your calculator ritually twice a day to check if all its intricates are operating in normalcy
567. You never take your eyes off someone when you let them borrow your precious
568. You never let anyone borrow your precious
569. You laugh at anyone who asks to borrow your precious
570. You can easily say that you have about 570 reasons why you love your calculator so much
571. For the reason of 521, you force your friends to call your precious "graphing handheld".
572. For the reason of 521, you force your graphing handhelds to call themselves graphing handhelds.
573. For the reason of 572, your graphing handheld bullies scientific calculators, cuz she thinks they are Untercalcs.
574. You download your homework from the internet, and instead of printing it, you send it to notefolio.
575. You buy a new TI-83 plus, which you never use, cuz you want to keep it in the original packaging. You don't even open it.
576. You have several calculators of each model so you can put a different colored case on each.
577. You dress so as your calculator matches your socks every day.
578. Girls only: you have painted these swirly designs on the edges of your handheld's screen.
579. Your calculator has a dental plan, just in case.
580. You use your Ti as a Playstation Memory Card.
581. Your Main Goal is to provide Hardware for your TI.
582. Your Calculator is newer than your computer.
583. You have made an exact simulation of the real world on your calculator.
584. (ref. to 480) That desktop image is on your calculator.
585. (ref. to 578) You have staged a midnight raid on a girl's calc to liberate it from the manacles of effeminate decoration.
586. You have your calculator surgically attached to you so you don't lose it.
587. More than the one. You are starting to run out of free skin space for the screens, and when you push a key, you just don't know which calc it will affect.
588. You have connected your father's pacemaker with your ti83 calc.
589. You have replaced your father's pacemaker with a ti83 calc.
590. Your father is still alive.
591. You are mad because the first TI-83 plus you get with google pictures search is on page 5, and not on page 1, like it should!
592. You take pictures of your son having it first graphing handheld, and think it is more important than his first words, or it first steps
593. Your son get's his first graphing handheld at the age of.... 5 days. You bought him a TI-89 Titanium, even though you already have 4 of them.
594. You bought an extra calc which you keep unopened just in case you ever get a child.
595. You adopted a child just so you could give him that calc.
596. You sold your child to the gypsies so you could buy a V200.
597. You dislike the word "buy." You think all calculators should be free, in every sense of the word.
598. You "liberate" calculators from all of your friends and smuggle them to canada where they establish a community of free calculators.
599. You give speeches demanding equal citizenship rights for all calculators, regardless of the ROM version.

600. With the help of the free calculators, you raid Texas Instruments and liberate all of the TI-84's stored in their warehouses. You are wanted by the FBI, but your calculators hide you in their community.
601. (ref. to 596) They initially asked for your Ti83.
602. (ref. to 598) This crazy canuck sets up a fake free community so his collection grows.
603. (ref. to 366) You can not only program them, but you can also do it in just one line.
604. Without putting in :'s.
605. While only using Ans for a variable.
606. You do an "AsmComp(" on your calc from an "ASM" program and it ends up being a BASIC game after a few more "hacking" attempts.
607. When you want to increase your TI-83 Plus's memory by doing the ON+MODE trick
608. When you can access the "Flash Test" routine without needing to use 607's trick and call it "FlashCrash".
609. When you decide to use "FlashCrash" to make your calc the only working one, so you don't have to worry about anyone else doing that to you.
610. You add a shock device so if anyone trys to steal it they get shocked.
611. You use your calculator as a "Midi Player"
612. You use your calculator as a Personal Organizer
613. You use your calculator as a Gameboy
614. You don't refer to any TI device as "calculator" anymore, rather as "midi-compatible personally-organizing entertainement system", or simply "Veronica".
615. You AIM icon is a digital picture of your calculator.
616. You can play games on your calculator with your left hand while taking notes with your right. (Or reversed, depending on your preferences.)
617. You have send relatives vacation greetings cards existing of a picture of you and your calc enjoying yourselves.
618. You buy a TI-83 Plus for every relative in your family (except Billy, the one who graduated from Yale) hoping they will understand your point of view on these mathematical wonders.
619. You also purchase a translucent slide case for each of the calculators.
620. when someone asks you what languages you speak, you say TI Basic and ASM.
621. You can't normally type numbers on your mobile phone, because the num-pad is not the same as the one on your graphing handheld (the up-left number on a mobile phone is 1, while on a calc, that is 7).
622. You learn French by reading readmes.
623. You then learn ASM from French comments in the code.
624. You have at least one nibbles and/or quadratic formula program on ticalc.
625. You upload AAAAQUAD and AAAAANIB to ticalc so you can be the first one in the list
626. You redo the above two files and resubmit them as 0000QUAD and 00000NIB.
627. You resubmit the files as "_____QUAD" and "_____NIB".
629. And it really is.
630. Your graphing handheld wrote it's own quad equ solver, and programmed it in her catalog.
631. You use quadratic equations to solve everyday tasks, not just for precal.
632. you have ported the entire C/C++ language to your 83 and 83+
633. you have made an oncalc compiler for this
634. programs compiled with this compiler work faster than the equivalent in asm, dispite the laws of physics.
635. You can honestly say that all of the signs posted in this thread apply to you.
636. You havae made a cable that will connect your calc to the local cinema's projector.
637. You never opened the box your TI came in, in the fear of it breaking or getting dusty.
638. You would take a bullet for your calculator.
639. You have your first ever acquired TI safely placed in a glass montre (like Scrooge with his first penny).
640. TI come to you for advice on their calculators.
641. You have built a robot body with a digestion system allowing your calculator the intake of solid foods.
642. You get arrested for trying to kill yourself because government laws prevent you and your calculator from becoming legally married.
643. You get seasonal post cards from TI saying "Happy Birthday", "Merry Christmas", "Happy Easter", etc.
644. That letter is signed:
Lots of love

645. All the employees of TI signed below that.
646. You have more than twice sent your calculator a valentines card.
647. You are famous in more than 25 countries for your love of TI's calculators
648. NASA has had you in for an Alien check due to your extreme love of calculators.
649. You have succesfully ported SHREK to your calculator - without greater loss in quality.
650. The port includes the complete soundtrack.
651. You have won the nobell prize for one of your calculator projects.
652. You have calculated Pi with 800 digits or more on your calculator.
653. TI has decided to change naming scheme and name their next calculator after you.
654. Posting in this forum and/or thread is the best thing that ever happened to you (of course not including whenever you receive a new TI calc).
655. You come up with signs for this thread in your sleep.
656. You created a program that lets you remote control your computer from your calc.
657. You are currently reading/posting to this thread from your calculator.
658. You haven't seen anything but your calculator screen the past 14 days.
659. The buttons on your calculator(s) are 1,5mm lower than when you bought it (due to heavy use).
660. You send TI weekly newsletters on their product updates.
661. You take over the world using only your calculator.
662. Your calculator, "Barnie", acquires his first TI
663. You have a hologram projector for your calc.
664. It actually works.
665. Your calc made it on its own.
666. You have had professional help from a shrink to recover from depression caused by loosing your calc.
667. You still take medicatino against depression.
668. You don't name your calculator because it makes the calc seem older and you can't stop thinking about that someday it will grow up and leave you all alone.
669. You built a web cam sort-of-thing that allows your calc to see you.
670. You bribed anyone you ever heard wanted to buy a Casio or a HP to switch to TI.
671. You bought a secondhand TI to twice the new price.
672. You can only remember two things: the one is how much you love your TI, the other is ... uhm ...
673. You were to choose only two things to take with you to a deserted island and you chose your TI and a set of everlasting batteries.
674.You are already on that island.
675. You actually read this entire post.
676. You also read the whole thread.
677. You read it more than once.
678. You had plastic surgery to look more like your calculator.
679. (ref. to 547) You add new functions to you calculator so surtain key combinations will turn it in to a lighter or a flame thrower.
680. When you tell your math teacher you didn't do your home work because you were programming it is a legitimate reason.
681. You filled 3 A4's (or more) on both sides with additional signs, while reading this thread from the beginning.
682. you have made a program that uses all available ram and half of the archive
683. On a 84 plus SE
684. You ported that program to your 89 Titanium

685. You made an ASM program that allows you to have 1 GB archive, using a USB key (only on calcs with USB)

686. The program from 682 also uses half of that USB key
687. You made your own 30 GB USB key (it's huge ) cuz you filled 29 1GB keys.
688. You actually have an 89 titanium (it isn't out yet)
689. Your science teacher is always correcting you for calculating 1K as 1024 in your reports.
690. You start wondering "Where's the sense in it all" and "What's the point of this boring life" and go ask your calculator.
691. You get an answer.
692. Your cell phone number is 06-84837587 (TI83plus) (holland only)
693. Your home phone number is 0xx-8444674 (TI GH ORG, TI Graphing Handheld.org) (another holland only)
694. You are so occupied by your calculator you forget to use capitals on country names.
695. You buy calc fetish porn videos
696. You make calc fetish porn videos
697. You think the center of the universe is a 84 plus SE
698. You got kicked out of a shop for trying to "seduce" a TI 89
699. Your monitor settings are 94x64, with only 2 colors
700. You post over 49 reasons in one post.
701. You have made a calculator program that, through infra-red, controls your computer to automatically refresh this web page every 35 seconds, just to check if there are new posts.
702. You do the same thing to ticalc.org
703. You have programmed a more accurate battery checker for ya calcky.... in JavaScript.
704. You skip one month of karate class because you didn't have enough money to both buy an 84+ and pay the monthly due.
705. Your whole world breaks down when you see two 84+ SE's at the same time.
706. You can type on two calculators at the same time.
707. You play ZTETRIS against yourself on 2 calculators.
708. The screen of your calc has crusty stuff around the edges (mine does, and I have no clue how it happened).
709. You scold yourself for calling it a screen and not an LCD.
710. You scold russianspy2114 for not cleaning his screen properly, with a special brush.
711. You have your cremated remains reconstitued into a TI-85 case.
712. You have a TI-84 Plus autographed by Mulanda Kamba.
713. When traveling you leave your laptop at home and pack your 84+.
714. You bring ya calk and an extra set of AAAs to an "old style" camping trip.
715. You are friends in everyone down at Radio Shack because of your regular battery trips.
716. you make faster games on the calc than on the computer
717. When someone says selftest (like in learning stuff) you think he means the [mode][alpha][s] trick
718. Since you only talk to other calc freaks, he probably means that too.
719. You've torn out your calculator's Z80 chip and put in a competent 8-bit processor, like a CMOS 6502 or a 6809. ; )
720. You can count in binary, hex, and octal
721. You can do that aloud
722. You get screwed over in a math contest because you said 10 meaning 16.
723. You have thrown away the cover to your TI because it is what is on the inside that counts.
724. You have given your TI, Fred, the title: "MyTI Fred" (pronounced "Mighty Fred").
725. Your first word was TI, UTI or calculator.
726. You are going to tell your children to visit UTI.
727. You have hacked your schools network so the only viewable website is the startpage which "by coincidence" happens to be UTI.
728. you found out that the Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy as described in the book by Douglas Adams is in fact a TI 89.
729. you programmed the guide to your TI 89 to prove it.
730. You used your TI-89 to create a wormhole so UTI as your first word isn't an anachronism.
731. If something has a microprocessor, you only want it if it's a TI microprocessor.
732. You're really sad if the UTI server is down for a day.
733. You replace your computer's Pentium 4 with a Zilog Z80.
734. You replace you computer's Windows XP Professional Edition SP1 with TI-83 Plus Silver Edition 1.16.
735. You replace you computer's Windows XP Professional Edition SP1 with an O.S. you have created yourself for the calc.
736. You bought a 64x96 black and white screen for your computer.
Boeing 737. You replace your computer's keyboard with a TI-83 Plus keyboard.
738. You make a list with "things I have in common with my calculator"
739. That list is longer than this topic
740. You only buy silver clothes because they match your SE
741. The only thing that is different between you and your calc is the size
742. Your favorite song is "Come on (TI-)80" by Hexy's Midnight Runners.
743. You made the TI 83+ Red Edition with:
-188K Ram
-overclocked to 24 Mhz
-12 MB flash ROM
-USB, infrared, WiFi, 3,5" audio ports
-your own OS that supports all that
-and has 2 Basic languages: you

Last edited by Guest on 27 Apr 2006 08:05:42 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Super Elite (Last Title)

Joined: 04 Nov 2003
Posts: 8328

Posted: 21 Aug 2005 05:02:25 pm    Post subject:

743. You made the TI 83+ Red Edition with:
-188K Ram
-overclocked to 24 Mhz
-12 MB flash ROM
-USB, infrared, WiFi, 3,5" audio ports
-your own OS that supports all that
-and has 2 Basic languages: your own fast one with more functions
-and the normal BASIC one, but more efficient
744. you carry 4 calcs with you that are all different types (i do)
745. you are trying to optimize it by creating an os like your computer
746. if you drop your calc, you don't worry too much because somehow you know that it is safe up to 6 feet.
boeing 747. students will come and ask to borrow a calc from you because they know you always have extras
748. your teacher asks for help or asks you to make a program for the class
749. you place the four calcs' screens together in a large, rectangular form to create a 4x larger ti screen... all of this high-techly coordinated thru their link ports, of course.
750. Even if the teacher didn't ask you to make a program, you do it anyway and show it to the class.
751. All your classmates then go on a rampage to find a link cable and get your program on their calc.
752. They actually use it for more than a day.
753. You get the words "God" and "Texas Instruments" mixed up all the time.
754. You know that the founder of TI was Jack Kilby.
755. You are a TI historian.
756. Unofficially.
757. Officially.
758. When done reading a book, you push the area of the page that corresponds to the [2nd][Quit] on your Ti-83 Plus before shutting it.
759. When reading any book, you automatically think [2nd][alpha] when you see capital letters.
760. And when typing on a computer keyboard.
761. You made your own TI museum.
762. You promise to compile a list of "Signs that you are addicted to TI" every time a certain number of signs are posted.
763. And actually fulfill that promise
764. you copy the compiled signs to your website
765. You have stored all of UTI to your calc, and
766. update this every five minutes
767. through a direct calc-to-internet connection
768. that's faster than computer-to-internet.
769. Every day you place your calc on an altar and bow before it a few times.
770. You made your whole family do it.
771. You bow before it as many times as there are reasons in this list. So, tonight, you are bowing 772 times.
772. You are a moderator at a calculator forum!
773. You marched in Washington D.C. to petition for the law to have every person in US to own a calculator, like it or not.
774. You took this list with you.
775. And made the president read all of it.
776. When you can't wait for your life to be expanded to SE.
777. You have a ti.com login.
778. Your password is "tea.eye.kalc"
779. You know how to use every function that's on your calculator, and on others as well.
780. Your teachers consider you to be a "calculator guru" or something similar.
781. Doing reasons that have already been done.
782. Reviving old topics.
783. Reading through 10+ pages of a topic on addiction.
784. Using this 17-page thread on a stand-up comedy.
785. You wonder why they throw fruits at you.
786. Dressing up as a calculator on Halloween
787. A working calculator.
788. Buying 10 EZ-Spot calculators for $1036.50
789. On january first, you celebrate that Contra is released, not that the new year came.
790. You like playing games on your calculator more than you like playing games on your gameboy DS.
791 same as 790 but with PSP.
792. You program the ACSL assignment on your calculator.
793. (ref. to 627) You bribe the files archive people to put your files as first no matter what they're called.
794. You compile 450+ reasons from this topic, many months later.
795. You actually remember making every one of those posts.
796. There's problems fitting all of these reasons into one post, in the 'compiled' topic.
797. You find UTI with the compiled list.
798. You e-mail that list to everyone you had eye contact with in the last 2 years.
799: Er... I just wanted to have the 800th reason...
800: While flipping through channels on a T.V, you see a show entitled 'The Best a Sports Show Period' and emmidieatly think 'Wow, that's quite a coincedence that Sigma's sprite routines are called almost the same thing', then you realize of course it's not, they ripped it off of him.
801. You get excited when Staples advertise TI products on a commercial
802. You get mad because they say "TI-83 Calculator" when it's obviously an 83 Plus.
803 You convince your Mom that the "add reply" button on UTI is the "send message" button for your primary email address.
804 It actually is.
805 you check gmail less often then UTi
806. You use e-mail notification of every thread in the forum (which, when running MSN, Gaim, etc..., gives you instant notice of replies).
807. You anxiously wait the 7 seconds it takes to sign into http://www.unitedti.org/index.php?act=irc
808. You have a "wet dream" from a calculator
809. Your batterys explode in your calc Very Happy
810. On your computer, the default image size in MSPaint is 96x64.
811. You keep a large archive of folders on your computer organizing all your calc programs/files.
812. You have more than 3 places where you store your calc files (my fathers comp, my own comp, my sisters comp(although the files in there are old), my SD-Card).
813. You discover that by putting an article of clothing between the case and the calculator, you can have your calculator imbedded in your sleeve/leg/whatever.
814. You walk around that way, and people think it's normal.
815. You have your brothers/sisters tied to a chair just so you can be able to tell them stuff about calculators they wouldn't listen to otherwise.
816. After eating out with friends, you try to work out the bill together but soon become frustrated with you for not having your calculator.
817. You had this list ported...with its own search engine.
818. You wonder why Star Trek: The Next Generation has an episode titled 'ret'.
819. When performing pencil and paper addition, you think to yourself: "Eight plus seven is five, set the carry flag..."
820. In math class you conclude your solution to the limit of 5/x as x approaches infinity with "Z = 1"
821. You balance your checkbook in packed BCD.
822. When reviewing other people's essays, you write your comments in the right margin after each line and always start with a semicolon.
823. People don't actually die; they just DI \ HALT
824. You've ever said "see you later, calculator" loud enough for someone to hear you.
825. You spend several hours on a sunday afternoon drawing 4-level grayscale spaceships in Paint and on paper.
826. You have a notebook devoted specifically to graphics on a calculator.
827. Your friend considers it important to tell you about a possible googlebomb of ti.com with the words "a graphing calculators".
828. People complaining about how calculators have made math students stupid and not know how to solve equations makes you angry.
829. answering an all real question with a 1
830. you have never taken a true-or-false quiz: it's a Boolean quiz!
831. you answer "true-or-false quizes" (which don't exist, of course: see above) with either a 1 or 0.
832. You've considered changing your last name to:
833. ...Davidson
833. ...Heald
834. ...Englender
835. ...Martian
836. ...Wingbermuehle
837. ... um, Wingbermuehle (counts as two for its complexity)
838. Using the word 'nth'.
839. (image) You're positive that says "the square root of the answer", not Vans.
840. You're outraged there are Java, C, etc. classes in your school but no Asm or TI-Basic!!
841. You can't hear "Silver" w/o thinking 83 or 84
842. You can't hear "Titanium" w/o thinking 89
843. You do this. [/proud moment]
844. You spend hours trying to figure out how Brazucs found the symbol, and trying to replicate it.
845. You purposely repeat old signs just cause you want to see this topic hit 1000
846. You purposely repeat old signs just cause you want to see this topic hit 1000
847. You purposely repeat old signs just cause you want to see this topic hit 1000
848. You purposely repeat old signs just cause you want to see this topic hit 1000
849. You quote people purposely repeating old signs just cause you want to see this topic hit 1000
850. You quote people purposely repeating old signs just cause you want to see this topic hit 1000
851. You quote people purposely repeating old signs just cause you want to see this topic hit 1000
852. You quote people purposely repeating old signs just cause you want to see this topic hit 1000
853. You warn people to stop repeating old signs because they want to see this topic hit 1000.
854. You're awaiting the number 1024 more anxiously.
854: You knew before even seeing Brazuc's post that a mod would say something like that...
855: You correct the Pre-AP CS teacher when he says it's not possible for the lower TI's to convert between bases.
856: You download and bring in to show the teacher Sigma's program to do just that.
857: You right your own before he's finished his sentence.
858. You are influenced by the evil elfprince13 to spam for the good of calckind.
859. You use the word "calckind" in a sentence.
860. You refer to someone as elfprince13 instead of Elf Prince.
861. You've been involved with programmable calculators in some form or another for somewhere around 9 years.
862. You think brazucs is talking hex, and say that we need at least $0FA0 more signs.
863. you like your calculator so much you want it to talk and hack in a speaker, and a keyhook to speak Ans whenever it is updated.
864. You've considered putting a two-way split on the link with a one going the dafault way and the other one to a small on/off switch the to a mini speaker so you can play music on it.
865. You use various variants for "calc" such as: calcky, kalc, calk, c4lc, k4lc, c4lk, k4lc, ca|c, ka|c, ca|k, c4|c, k4|c, c4|k, k4|c, etc...
866. When you get an equation in which x=0, you instinctively write not(x.
867. You notice that the numbering is off, and fix it.
868. Whenever you see not(X, you instictively type Second - test - right four.
869. When you're feeling ill you find yourself reading posts instead of sleeping.
870. You begin every sentence with a colon
871. You actually understand why all of the reasons in this list are funny
872. You write two or more reasons per post.
873. Both have already been posted.
874. you read through all 19 pages on this topic to see if a post has already been used
875. You wonder why the Ti-82 has more RAM than an 84+SE
876. You are able to philosophize on the discrimination against Casio users in the calc community.
877. You yourself discriminate against Casio users.
878. You are able to philosophize about the discrimination against HP users in the calc community
879.You yourself discriminate against HP users.
880. You are able to philosophize about the discrimination against Sharp users in the calc community
881.You yourself discriminate against Sharp users.
882. You are aware of the fact that the original Apple Macintosh uses that same processor as the 89, 89 Titanium, 92, 92+, and V200
883. You think Mathematica is evil
884. You think Maple is evil, then.
885. You now re-read all reasons since a new page was created.
886. You change the forum settings so all reasons fit into one page for uninterrupted reading.
887. You change your UTI avatar at least every 30 days.
888. You have installed Gaim into your 89.
889. You got Ubuntu to work on your 83 Plus.
890. You got Windows to work on your 84 Plus Silver.
891. You got Mac OS X to work on your 73.
892. You have created the first TI Solar 83 Plus. (really, is it possible?)
893. You buy extra-light batteries so your pants don't keep falling down.
894. You only change your avatar after hitting a certain post count
895. Which ends up meaning "every day".
896: Your sig, on the other hand, changes with your mood.
897: Your mood, of course, depends on whether or not there are new posts at UTI.
898: Considering you check it every couple of minutes, your mood is mostly sad.
899: Therefore, you change your sig everytime there is a new post at UTI.
900. You're nice enough to let other TI lovers to post the 900th post.
901: As soon as Brazucs says 'E2', you calculate 'E2' on your TI-83+, which you keep linked up to your computer at all times. It's your TI-83+ SE that you keep in your pocket...
902. You give up sleeping so that you can program more
903. You port TASM and PTI to your cellphone so that you can program ASM everywhere
904. You use USB8x to have 1GB of games on a memory stick
905. you use TIMM and USB8x to watch LOTR movies on your calculator
906. You got the ERR: BAD GUESS message
907. You created a basic virus that deleted the calcs RAM and ROM
908. You attempt to use TI-83+ errors as insults.
909. You attempt to plug your ERROR LIST on the addiction thread.
910. You have been to CA (i.e. Calculators Anonymous)
910. You have bombed the CA building. All calckers are created equal but some are more equal than others.
912. (ref. to 901) you don't need to calculate it b/c you have memorized the entire OS code and so can fully emulate your calc in your head.
913: You argue over who should get the honor of posting the 1000th sign.
914. You find yourself defending that you had the flu when posting your previous excuse err reason for addiction in this same thread.
915. You UTI username has something to do with calcs.
916. ...or your AIM username
917. ...or your Yahoo username
918. ...or your MSN e-mail
919. ...or your regular e-mail
920. ...or your ICQ number (e.g. 133748389)
921. You know that "leet" isn't only calc-related
922. Rather than saying 'Your UTI... or your AIM, or ', you post them in different reasons just to see this topic hit 1000.
923. Or 1024.
924. You immediately come to visit UTI first thing when you just got home from a GreenDay concert.
925. the licence plate of your car is "M1830WNZ" (m1 83 0wnz). (I wonder of there is a country with that type of licence plate :S)
926. You port Mac OS 7 to your 89 Titanium
928. You attempt to hit 1000 posts so you're 1000th post will hold the 1000th reason...
929. You go to this site and post in this topic...
930. You come to United-TI even though you haven't started on a bibliography / outline of a major paper due the next day.
931. you're the only girl that you know that knows anything more than how to turn a calculator on
932. getting pwnd by supergoose's optimizing techniques rock
933. A new sign is posted before you have time to correct the numbering for the one before it.
934. It gets ridiculously hard to remain humble, especially when you provide calculator help in-person.
935. u'd rather go on the computer and stay up just to get ur parents to b**ch at you more.
936. You ignore any posts that don't have anything to do with caculators. And don't listen to moderators if they are not talking about calculators.
937. to get pwnd by a mod, and to learn some new stuff. nice script =P
938. You know when to use the word "code"
939. you are married with your TI-83+SE
940. ...happily...
941. You think you know when it's a repeat since you read over the list so much.
942. You know when it's a repeat since you read over the list so much.
943. You keep a special View New Posts tab opened on FF.
944. You F5 that windows constantly.
945.To save keystrokes that could be better put to use on your calculator, you use this
946. See attachment.Either that or you're a postcount whore. This IS an edited image, btw.
947. Two, uh, letters: VR!
948. image. From left to right: Geoff Schulz, Steve Kraisler, Herb Green and Maureen Gavin.
949. You're out of college but you still like calcs.
950. You spy on people with the "Online Users" page.
951. You have the number 42 carved into the battery door.
952. You don't buy a silver edition because you can't write stuff on the inside cover in pencil in a way that only you can see it.
953. You buy the silver edition because it comes with [that notepad-like program]
954. You know what that notepad-like program is called
955. You check whether people are "reading..." or "replying..."
956. You think of signs at night and dream of this list hitting 1000 signs (the thousandth post, of course, being AlienCC)
957. You (collectively) 33 reasons in one day (today - can anyone find a bigger number?)
958. When you woke up you realized you just spent all night programming your cool dude RPG in your dreams.
959. You are disappointed the code isn't in your TI yet.
960. You are adversly excited of the new found programming methods discovered while sleeping.
961. When your RAM clear deletes three weeks of work on a project, you can recover it from memory in less than 3 days, and optimize it on the way.
962. You compare the number of bytes lost to an erroneous Goto inside a For() loop to the number of days you have left to live.
963. You attempt to simulate the separation of mind and body by moving said Goto out of the For() loop so you will live longer.
964. You've worn finger grooves into the back of your calculator.
965. Some people only know about you from the programs of yours they use in math class.
966. You check the file administration page more often than your email.
967. Over half of your favorites menu / toolbar / etc. is TI-related.
968. Your favorite song is... say... Kraftwerk - Pocket Calculator.
969. You have actually made a song using TI-Jukebox or Calcmod or whatever.
970. You connect your calculator to a subwoofer and suround sound.
971. You cheat to make the topic reach 1000.
972. You celebrate your TI's birthday.
973. Your calc marries someone elses calc
974. You buy your calc christmas presents.
975. It buys you one.
976. It sees you holding a SE, then when you pick it up it refuses to turn on.
977. You have pre-ordered AAA batteries to be mailed to you every day for the rest of your life.
978. Your friend dresses up as a link cable.
979. And your other friend a computer.
980. You dream of the Easter Bunny giving you an egg and when you open it there's an 83+.
981. You have memorized all the letter-pixel combinations for text sprites... or at least understand what I'm talking about.
982. You have a TI blog.
983. You update your TI based website forum's signature as much as Sir Robin.
984. You remember what a major event it was the last time Sir Robin changed his sig.
985. You build Opportunity 2.0 based on TI-OS 1.12 (since you have to test it on VTI)
986. You have two or more calc emus on your computer.
987. Who needs computers when you've got calcs?
988. You have one or more calc-related folders in your favorites
989. You think of buying uti.org
990. You write a scientific article about how "Urinary Tract Infection" disease should be renamed "Acute Bladder Dysfunction"
991. It gets published by both Nature and Science (the most respected scientific magazines).
992. When your teacher tells you a bad joke starting with "a string walks into a bar", you ask "length-prefixed or null-terminated?"
993. You program Reason from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency on your TI-83+. (http://catless.ncl.ac.uk/Risks/5.12.html#subj9.1)
994. 802.11b... on the TI!
995. You change your gameboy's screen color to a b+w one.
996. vice-versa
997. You like b+w so much your favorite song is "Ebony and Ivory"
998. You know where "By pressing down a special key, it plays a little melody / I'm the operator with my pocket calculator!" comes from.
999. You know you're addicted to TI if you start getting withdrawal symptoms after having missed an injection of TI.
1000. You pay over $100 every month just to get your TI fix in.
1001. You stayed up all night to wait for AlienCC posting the 1000th sign.
1002. You get marked off on english papers for using numbar instead of number
1003. You get a warm fuzzy feeling inside when you think about z80 code.
1004. Your TI has a rumble pack
Arcane Wizard wrote:
A girl I was chatting with today was looking for her calc, I told her to use the computer she was sitting in front of. We laughed. I thought of this topic. [post="58307"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post]
You think of that UTI topic...
1006. You are quoted in this topic.
1007. Your sign works for both this topic and Signs You're Sick To Death...
1008. You find it amusing how ( [sign # in this topic]-[sign # in sick_death]=89x10^2 ) makes you think of the 89.
1009. Your... thing reads "Submissions: 59"
1010. You are in the top 200 in multiple author categories on TiCalc.org
1011. You get the Sacred Book of TI printed on gold-brushed paper and bound in crocodile-leather.
1012: you founded a calculator club
1013: first day of class you agrue with your science teacher as to wether or not E is proper notation for scientific notation.
1015. you don't eat when you have TI near you, it might become depressed by the fact that you can take in food, and it cannot.
1016. you don't eat at all, because you always have your TI near you
1017. To fix this problem, you teach you TI to eat throught the link port.
1018. Your answer to a problem on a math competition is:


1019. Your sig says:


1020. You acually get headachs when you haven't coded for more than 3 days.
1021. You re-read ALL 1019 signs just because you are THAT addicted
1022. More than 500 said signs apply
1023. When you get in trouble, your calc is the first thing your parents take away.
1024. Your teachers compliment you on your programming skills-after seeing your 'math help' programs on the school calcs.
1025. You think lists with an item number that is a power of 2 are cool.
1026. You can't go a whole day without programming on you calculator.
1027. You cry when your parents take your calculator away.
1028. When you're done crying, you think of a mastermind scheme to get the calc back.
1028. You keep >1 periodic table on your calculator
1029. You keep a π memorization program on your calculator
1030. You time yourself on aforementioned π memorization program
1031. You calculate your π typing speed in digits per second
1032. You get >2 digits per second
1033. You memorize powers of 2
1034. The mastermind scheme works.
1035. Of course it does, because Vera told you to do it.
1036. You own the TI nSpire CAS+. You're just that good.
1037. You reread the signs to see how many apply now after months of accomplishing more goals.
1038. You tell people about what you and your calculator did this past weekend.
1039. Girls use "my calculator is broken, can you fix it?" as an excuse to talk to you.
1040. Your nickname is "Captain Calculator"
1042. You just made your 100th post on a calc geek forum.
1043. You're almost in the 3000s.
1044. Arcane.
1045. You take a look at the topic title, "Signs That You Are Addicted To Ti, Come on, lets hit 1000 signs!", then slowly think, "If I am on here posting about this stuff, I must be addicted!."
1046. The highlight of your day is having met another 83+ assembly programmer at your school.
1047. At the programming team's meeting.
1048. People are scared of your 89Ti and its amazing language parser...
1049. UTI is now your homepage for the internet.
1050. You have taught >5 people how to program.
1051. People ask you what your plans are for the weekend, and you show them this site.
1052. Even if you don't know what a math (or English for that matter) question is asking, you can program your calculator to answer it.
1053. If you drop your calculator, you start crying.
1054. When people ask what to get you for your birthday you point them to http://www.cafepress.com/aliencc
1055. You have a position of authority on multiple calculator related sites.
1056. Your webhost is a calculator site.
1057. You think about buying the UTI Cap.
1058. You spend 4 hours feverishly speed coding an ASM program, giving yourself a massive headache, but loving every moment of it Smile
1059. You start a deranged conspiracy to make people feverishly speed-code ASM/BASIC in ridiculously small amounts of time. Very Happy
1060. You get frustrated over a little error in a program that you are coding for the speed-coding contest.
1061. You already bought the UTI mousepad Neutral
1062. You set 2 alarms to go off at 10-minute intervals so you don't miss the deranged conspiracy.
1063. You offer a $20 eBay "shopping spree" so that more people will be attracted to it. Very Happy
1064. You go out for 30 minutes and come back to find 10 new PMs regarding the deranged conspiracy.
1065. You don't misspell unitedti.org
1066. You stay on till late at night working on a random maze generator program.
1067. You found UTI through Ask.com originally looking for a band called "Addicted". (0x5, Brazucs)
1068. You look at Google caches of UTI because you think ask.com suxx0rs...
1069. You post on UTI at 1:16am EST in the morning.
1070. Your "downloads" at UTI are in the double digits.
1071. Your bookmarks are filled with little blue favicons.
1072. You are a member on almost every calculator forum on the net.
1073. You got so excited when you logged on UTI and saw your name in blue.
1074. You have mIRC join #unitedti automatically whether you're at the Dragonfire server or not.
1075. You have registered at least one channel on that server.
1076. You spend the whole day on UTI waiting for the contest.
1077. You chat with UTI members better than some of your own friends.
1078. You read all the old threads on UTI.
1079. You are "Most active in" a calc-related subforum.
1080. You have 5% or more of total forum posts.
1081. You invite all your friends to come to UTI.
1082. You wonder why they hit you and run away.
1083. You actually got one to come in! Go jfish, go...
1084. You like any site with a darkblue and gray theme. It reminds you of the UTI main theme.
1085. You know that the UTI main theme is called Blueglass 2.0
1086. You celebrate your UTI anniversary.
1087. You are one of the only 2 members still on UTI at 1:36 EST in the morning.
1088. You hate telling teachers that you're on UTI because it makes you look like a total nerd.
1089. You're sad that the first two google results on your UTI username are from Wikipedia, not UTI.
1090. You have 10,600 results from UTI alone...
1091. You're infuriated that the second one is "Brazucs Leaves".
1092. You are typing this from your TI.
1093. You write a calculator joke book.
1094. It comes with an 89Ti, because it is your favorite.
1095. But of course, "you don't play favorites".
1096. People buy the book--and not just for the calc.
1097. The calc comes pre-filled with all of your favorite games; all made by yourself.
1098. You get your calculator taken away in class for programming.
1099. You cry when it gets taken away. Your teacher feels sorry when she sees you crying. Your teacher gives it back to you and allows you to program if you are done with the current work. You wipe the tears away and give your calc a big hug.
1100. You take it upon yourself to edit several pages of posts in order to maintain a joke that has gotten way too old to be funny.

Last edited by Guest on 23 Apr 2006 05:17:36 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Authentic INTJ

Super Elite (Last Title)

Joined: 25 Nov 2004
Posts: 3976

Posted: 20 Jan 2007 03:58:50 pm    Post subject:

1101. Your cable to connect your flash drive to your calculator has become the flash drive's de facto cap (Recursive Acronym's has).
1102. You have used your homemade IR device to hack the National Treasury.
1103. You bought a $500 Core 2 Duo to place inside your $120 calculator.
1104. Your calculator has 12 different face plates, and you change them daily.
1105. You have spent over $1000 on calculators alone, not to mention all the accessories.
1106. You learned ASM before Basic.
1107. You can post in the super-secret staff forum.
1108. You have ported TI-OS to run natively on a PC.
1109. You actually finished sorting your portion of the calc.org files. See this forum.
1110. You are sure that somewhere there is a magical calc tree where ti gets their fresh organic calcs from
1111. You switched around the buttons on the calc to screw up other people
1112. When somebody asks what a z80 is you whip out your calculator to show them graphically on your 16 bit color screen
1113. You have actually killed several sets of NiNH batteries (recharged too many times).
1114. You download Wikipedia onto your calculator
1115. It fits because you have modified your calculator
1116. You started out by numbering in hex instead of decimal :blush:
1117. You count better in hex than decimal
1118. You put an 'any' key onto your calculator
1119. You contribute the next 3E8(1000) posts to this topic
1120. You do it without repeats
1121. In one post
1122. Your posts on UTI can no longer be counted in 16-bits
1123. You get a TI-Nspire CAS when it comes out
1124. You break into TI to get it early because you can't wait
1125. You submit multiple programs to ticalc.org everyday
1126. More than one has been approved everyday
1127. The tech support at ticalc.org redirects to your site
1128. You take more offense at an insult to your calculator than you do an insult to your mentally ill sister
1129. You create a program for your graphing calculator that allow it to single-handedly autopilot a plane from New York to Tokyo
1130. You play calculator games while you take a [potty break].
1131. You fit a cell phone into your calculator, and hacked into Cingular's network with it.
1132. You made so many modifications for your calculator and made it so powerful that it beat Chuck Norris in a fight.
1133. Your calculator now serves as your iPod.
1134. You integrated a Taser into your calculator.
1135. You still check the Vera forum regularly.
1136. You've had intimate relations with your calculator. Via the link port. See item number 384.
1137. You have a backup of your computer on your calculator.
1138. (ref. to 1127) TI also directs their tech support to you
1139. You hook your ti-83 to your site to automatically answer the questions
1140. It has not been wrong yet
1141. Your ti-83 is running your site
1142. You work at TI (calculator department)
1143. You make more than Bill Gates does (or did) at your job for TI
1144. You revolutionize the z80 language to replace C++ and Java
1145. You do the same for TI-Basic
1146. Your caffiene supplements (pills or tablets) for late-night calc coding can be found in the battery compartment of your calculator, or in a built-in dispenser located near the the link port

Last edited by Guest on 14 Mar 2007 07:24:11 am; edited 1 time in total
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