(Disclaimer: Don't get the impression that I am suicidal, because I'm not)

Each day is an existential crisis. With every incursion between the senses and the emotions, the world seems more absurd than it did yesterday; but time destroys all things. If this is the nature of existence, then what is sapient life? — A slap in the face.

You spend your time confined in a cage, with only a murky lens which to view the external world. No matter how much you try to understand your surroundings, the limitations of what you can perceive, analyze and judge will always result in subjective bias.

What if your mind is diseased? Life may have given you a darkened lens that is only capable of showing you delusion, pessimism and pain; then what? — Then you clench down and grit your teeth as you patiently wait for death to pardon you from your mind's prison.

Whether a mind be a dungeon of horrors or a gilded cage, every mind contains a consciousness on death-row. In the end, we all arrive at the same destination. To those who were given a darkened lens, how can there be any positive value in an existence filled with pain?

Do not answer that a person can choose happiness. That is profoundly ignorant of genetics, the possibility of a deterministic universe, and causal factors in general. Regardless of one's views on free-will versus fate, it should be agreed that at least some people cannot influence their own happiness in lieu of having terrible circumstances.

What do you say to the schizophrenic who, resistant to treatment, stands at the edge of a bridge ready to end it all? Do you have him thrown into a padded cell where he is protected from self-harm, simultaneously knowing he will never have a quality of life while he's forced to live with his demons every single day?

How does a person choose life in the face of immutable suffering?

http://www.screenhead.com/funny/dance_monkeys_dance.swf

I expected that to be a massive troll, but it was actually moderately on-topic. Amazing.

I know, I've been saving that one for a while now, waiting for the perfect moment...

I'll get the super soaker...

More seriously, you're making the assumption that not having any absolute perception of reality is necessarily a bad thing. If you don't like the reality you perceive, make one up for yourself. It doesn't matter how much that schizophrenic is physically tortured if they aren't bothering to use their "murky lenses" to perceive what is fundamentally an imperceivable world. At the risk of sounding like one of those BS "wish yourself to riches" scammers, your reality is whatever you perceive it to be.

Ok, I'm going to perceive myself as making love to a beautiful women...


Oh what a surprise, nothing happened.

Then stop perceiving that nothing happened

There's a difference between the way you perceive circumstances, and the circumstances. A better way to look at this might be that there are no obstacles in your circumstances. None. Where you are at this very moment is the circumstance your past life has brought you to. The way you perceive your current position, physically and in life in terms of your past and your present, is completely up to you. Reality is simply what your mind perceives it to be.

Granted, you might have tried to perceive yourself making love to a beautiful woman, but in order to make that so you would have to change your circumstance. And then... well, the two of you would have to figure out in your minds whether or not the reality is you're making love or raping her.

You control 'the way you perceive your circumstance' (reality), but you cannot change your circumstance just by thought.

I take it that no one who has replied so far has ever suffered with derealization or depersonalization. Unfortunately, how our minds perceive the external world (or even ourselves) is not something over which we have a direct sense of control. If you have some sort of mental illness, you're going to feel and sense things you would rather not.

I spent some time with my friends Friday, and I can barely remember anything about the day. I just remember that everything felt surreal, and it was like moving through a dream. At times, it's like there's so much stimuli that my brain purposefully begins to shut itself down to avoid an overload, or a nervous breakdown. I have so much anterograde amnesia that I can barely remember the day of the week. It's debilitating. I can't even allow myself to drive, because if I have some sort of episode while driving, I would be a danger to other people.

After months of experiencing all this weirdness, I've been able to adjust to some of it, and just accept that it's now a part of my life; but there are still days when it's so frightening that I think reality is going to start melting away. I wish there was something that could give me some reassurance that everything would be okay. All I can do is look back on my worst episodes and remind myself that I survived them. It seems like when I'm able to look back and say, "Okay. That last episode doesn't seem so bad now..." something more intense comes along to take its place; then, it's back to square-one.

I don't think I'm crazy. I can sit here and have a rational conversation. I can articulate what I'm feeling and thinking. I've explored therapy, anti-depressants, anxiolytics, and god-help-me, I've abused the hell out of benzos. I can't just lay around all day like a sedated zombie. If that's what it takes to feel better, then there's no purpose in treating myself. With or without treatment, I have no quality of life.

I'm desperate for solutions. I think I'm about willing to try anything. I've even explored some alternative therapies. There's just no hope left. I feel like my life has essentially been over all this time, and I'm aimlessly wandering around some sort of purgatory because I just can't accept the facts.

hmm, funny, my life until I was 13 feels just like that... I didnt like anything my life before I was 13....

I experienced some of this around age 10-12, as well. All I can remember is that it gradually disappeared as I adjusted to it. It was never as intense as it is now.

After recently looking back on it, I remember that some of the things I experienced would be classified as panic attacks. Back then, I had no idea how to classify anything I felt. I think what made it easier to cope was that I had better circumstances. My family was relatively close back then, and being a child, I had more people on whom I could depend. There was always some sense of security, because I could run to my mother if I started to experience some sort of derealization / depersonalization episode, or a panic attack.

What if Zera is so hyper-intelligent he's breaking through the barriers of reality and touching an outside universe?

/me glances at Zera's other posts

Nope, definitely not that.

But if it were that, would his posts not look like rambling jibberish?

Perhaps, but some of his posts are simply wrong, thus he is clearly not hyper-intelligent.

I have (assuming we're talking about the same things) and it sucks. But then I realized that other humans are in general complete morons, so identifying oneself with them is rather negative. I pretty much got over it after that, since I'm obviously myself (given that the appropriate assumptions are true) and thus I cannot by definition be other than what I am, even if I do not feel like it occasionally.

Benzo withdrawal symptoms can include both depersonalization and derealization.

When did Kllrnohj cross over from bitter techie to pure troll? Let's get this back on-topic.

I'm serious, how could you tell the difference between the ramblings of a madman and the frantic warnings of someone who's touched the other side?

I remembered a time when I had random panic attacks about how short life was. But then I realized that all of this anxiety would probably just increase my blood pressure and cause me to die sooner, so I stopped.