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That feeling when you desperately need to graduate, but your brain is an idiot, so it always forgets to do everything important, and you are barely passing...


and depression

which causes stupid things to be done to myself

but i have no good friends irl (just faces)

so no one i can talk to about the stupid things

and that makes it worse

and then the only people i can talk to are far away

they cant help me

shout out to Little for being helpful




Also, this might seem kinda stupid, but i wish i either didnt like any girls at all, or that i would stop liking and building friendships with girls who are either not interested in me or are romantically unavailable... because i always convince myself that people like me more than they do (no one likes me) and then i get my hopes up, but they dont actually like me.

I am a nice person, and i am quite empathetic (almost to a fault) and so i notice if the people that i know and (for some reason) care about are struggling, or having problems, and i try to help them, but no one notices ME... Not one of my so called "friends" ever notices when i am particularly down, and even when i try to talk to my closest irl friend, she doesnt actually care, she just pretends.

I always try and seem happy on here, because i want to help other people feel good (even if i feel like sh*t)... Just like i pretend to be an extrovert sometimes, even though i am actually not... and i act like an almost over-confident person, but i actually have zero faith in my own capabilities

Sorry for the massive post ._.
Pieman7373 wrote:
That feeling when you desperately need to graduate, but your brain is an idiot, so it always forgets to do everything important, and you are barely passing...


and depression

which causes stupid things to be done to myself

but i have no good friends irl (just faces)

so no one i can talk to about the stupid things

and that makes it worse

and then the only people i can talk to are far away

they cant help me

shout out to Little for being helpful




Also, this might seem kinda stupid, but i wish i either didnt like any girls at all, or that i would stop liking and building friendships with girls who are either not interested in me or are romantically unavailable... because i always convince myself that people like me more than they do (no one likes me) and then i get my hopes up, but they dont actually like me.

I am a nice person, and i am quite empathetic (almost to a fault) and so i notice if the people that i know and (for some reason) care about are struggling, or having problems, and i try to help them, but no one notices ME... Not one of my so called "friends" ever notices when i am particularly down, and even when i try to talk to my closest irl friend, she doesnt actually care, she just pretends.

I always try and seem happy on here, because i want to help other people feel good (even if i feel like sh*t)... Just like i pretend to be an extrovert sometimes, even though i am actually not... and i act like an almost over-confident person, but i actually have zero faith in my own capabilities

Sorry for the massive post ._.


Are you my twin? I feel exactly the same way when I was trying to graduate.

What I found helped was that:

1)You can do anything you put your mind to. Literally.
2)Eventually, someone will care. Don't worry. And, as someone once said "Good things come to those who wait.". So don't be sad, as your life is better than many other people on the planet.
3) Just because someone is far away, doesn't mean they can't help you. For example, I myself am going through tough times, and one of my friends in North Dakota is helping me out a lot.

You can make it. Just believe in yourself. Smile
Michael2_3B wrote:
That feeling when you're graduating from high school, and people and friends are leaving to all kinds of different places, going on with their lives. I don't even think it's fully hit me yet that I won't be coming back next year.

I really hate goodbyes.

Yep, this is sadly true, but that is how it goes. Looking at my own situation, I had the same problem, graduated from highschool, and had to leave all my friends over there. HOWEVER, after the summer break, we decided to meet each other and went to a very nice restaurant, just to talk with each other, and chilling. I would say try to keep the contacts for now. I think you will stay in contact with really good friends, and at the other school you can make new friends Smile
Caleb_J wrote:


1)You can do anything you put your mind to. Literally.
2)Eventually, someone will care. Don't worry. And, as someone once said "Good things come to those who wait.". So don't be sad, as your life is better than many other people on the planet.
3) Just because someone is far away, doesn't mean they can't help you. For example, I myself am going through tough times, and one of my friends in North Dakota is helping me out a lot.

You can make it. Just believe in yourself. Smile


1) I know that people are always like "just try harder, and it will happen" but its not that easy, but whatever, that doesnt matter
2) i might have found a person here who cares, but im not getting my hopes up (cuz she probably doesnt) And i know that lots of people have worse lives than me, which kinda makes me hate myself because i feel the way i do about the not-terrible life i have
3) And the far away people can help me with words, but they cant stop things from happening, or just give me a hug (sometimes thats all i want)

I wish i could believe in myself

Thank you Caleb_J
Pieman7373 wrote:
That feeling when you desperately need to graduate, but your brain is an idiot, so it always forgets to do everything important, and you are barely passing...


and depression

which causes stupid things to be done to myself

but i have no good friends irl (just faces)

so no one i can talk to about the stupid things

and that makes it worse

and then the only people i can talk to are far away

they cant help me

shout out to Little for being helpful




Also, this might seem kinda stupid, but i wish i either didnt like any girls at all, or that i would stop liking and building friendships with girls who are either not interested in me or are romantically unavailable... because i always convince myself that people like me more than they do (no one likes me) and then i get my hopes up, but they dont actually like me.

I am a nice person, and i am quite empathetic (almost to a fault) and so i notice if the people that i know and (for some reason) care about are struggling, or having problems, and i try to help them, but no one notices ME... Not one of my so called "friends" ever notices when i am particularly down, and even when i try to talk to my closest irl friend, she doesnt actually care, she just pretends.

I always try and seem happy on here, because i want to help other people feel good (even if i feel like sh*t)... Just like i pretend to be an extrovert sometimes, even though i am actually not... and i act like an almost over-confident person, but i actually have zero faith in my own capabilities

Sorry for the massive post ._.


I know how it feels to Pieman, I'm actually in the same position, with a 48% in Spanish, and other un-preferred grades. But I know that anything is possible with hard work, so I keep on trying to be better everyday, and I refuse to let it bring me down. Get right back up when you're knocked down. Keep moving forward, no matter how hard you think it is, because you'll only make progress. We believe in you Pieman! Very Happy Good Idea Good Idea Good Idea
Hey man. Reality check.

Pieman7373 wrote:
That feeling when you desperately need to graduate, but your brain is an idiot, so it always forgets to do everything important, and you are barely passing...


Yeah, grades are important but you are more important. Don't forget to take time for yourself when you're stressed. I find that I can recompose myself better when I take a break from studying or stressful things going on in my life by expressing myself. I'll cover this next but don't you ever forget about yourself.

Quote:
and depression

which causes stupid things to be done to myself


It's life. We've all been depressed. We can all relate. Don't let that deter you. You'll only hit the bottom if you let yourself. And trust me, when you let yourself hit bottom you might as well be in a black hole. Nothing matters, nothing cheers you up and that pessimistic view you have on life now begins permanent. You need to fight for your survival.

I don't like hearing that depression causes you to do stupid things to yourself. I've had friends who cut, who took prescription drugs, done hard drugs and even, drown themselves in alcohol. A majority of them are better these days but I can still see how those choices affected them. I'd really like to see you applying that depression and stress towards an outlet. Buy a blank canvas and some paint, when you're feeling depressed throw some paint at the sucker, draw and paint your feelings. I know what you're thinking. "That's stupid." No. It isn't. Do not keep these feelings to yourself. That's the WORST thing you can do. You need to get these feelings out and expressed. That's why people cut. You need to feel better and relieved. That's why people consume drugs and alcohol. But those are band aids over a problem. None of them solve the issue.

Yeah, sure. Obtaining the canvas and paints costs money but it's cheap compared to hospital bills for an OD, getting your stomach pumped or, blood transfusions because you cut deeper so you can feel something again. On top of that, canvas and paint is certainly cheaper than a therapist.

Maybe painting isn't your thing. That's fine. Maybe you've always wanted to get in shape. So spend a few hundred bucks on a good punching bag. And when you're depressed just punch the living daylights out of it. Go running, visualize yourself running away from those problems and leaving them on the streets. Visualize those fears and problems getting hit by cars and trampled by pedestrians. When you get home tell yourself you left your problems outside to die. Don't bring anything home with you.

You need to express yourself. Don't forget about yourself.

Quote:
but i have no good friends irl (just faces)

so no one i can talk to about the stupid things

and that makes it worse


Yeah. So what? These friends aren't holding you back. Take the forms of expression you found above and go on websites like MeetUp and find groups of people with the same passion in your city. Some groups may have a membership fee but pay it. It won't be a permanent thing. Maybe the group isn't a good fit, so move onto another. Maybe after a year you got some solid friends and you guys start organizing events outside of the MeetMe group. Cancel your membership.

You need to express yourself. Keeping all these feelings inside you is damaging and poisonous. You need to put yourself out there. Remeber, don't forget about yourself.

Quote:
and then the only people i can talk to are far away

they cant help me

shout out to Little for being helpful


Yes we can. We just can't help you the way you want us to help you. Help comes in many forms. This post of mine here is help. It may not be supportive or pandering to your ego but it is help. You absolutely need to take care of yourself. You are the most important thing in your life. Everything else is last. There shouldn't even be a second place right now.


Quote:
Also, this might seem kinda stupid, but i wish i either didnt like any girls at all, or that i would stop liking and building friendships with girls who are either not interested in me or are romantically unavailable... because i always convince myself that people like me more than they do (no one likes me) and then i get my hopes up, but they dont actually like me.


Stop. This is not healthy. By all means, form relationships with women but tell yourself that there is nothing romantic. It's important. Pushing women away as friends is the opposite of what you want. If you push them away, after a while you'll believe any interaction from them is a form of interest on their end. It's not healthy. Recognize the difference between a friendship and a relationship. If you go out with a group of people from MeetMe, every one is a friend for a few meetings. Get to know people. Maybe you click with a few of them, get their numbers, Maybe the lot of you are really looking forward to the summer blockbuster coming out. Plan an evening with the movie and a group dinner. As well as other events. You'll form a better and intimate bond with those friends, maybe you'll form a really close bond with a woman, you guys start doing things together. Just the two of you. That's entering relationship territory.

But to get there you need to put yourself first and take care of yourself.

Quote:
I am a nice person, and i am quite empathetic (almost to a fault) and so i notice if the people that i know and (for some reason) care about are struggling, or having problems, and i try to help them, but no one notices ME... Not one of my so called "friends" ever notices when i am particularly down, and even when i try to talk to my closest irl friend, she doesnt actually care, she just pretends.


We share a lot in common here. You notice their issues because they express them. You keep them to yourself. You don't express your feelings but yet you expect people to read your mind? It doesn't work like that. Work on expressing your feelings. I don't care if you throw water balloons filled with paint at a canvas and title it "Thrown with Rage." That's expression. I don't care if you burn that painting and photograph it. Titling that one "My Problems Don't Control Me." That's expression. You can't keep this inside you. It's not healthy and it won't solve your problems. Take care of yourself by expressing your problems.

Quote:
I always try and seem happy on here, because i want to help other people feel good (even if i feel like sh*t)... Just like i pretend to be an extrovert sometimes, even though i am actually not... and i act like an almost over-confident person, but i actually have zero faith in my own capabilities


Again. Stop. Start thinking positively. Instead of having zero faith in your abilities tell your self "with a little bit more practice I'll be able to achieve this." Stop looking at the bigger picture. Break into into small steps. You'll never climb Everest if you look at the top. You need to break it down and see that Base Camp is at these 3 elevations. You need to break it down further, achieve smaller goals so that you know you can survive on the lower oxygen levels at each base camp when you attempt Everest. I can't tell you what these steps are, so you need to take that analogy and apply them to your own goals.

I believe in you. I'm here for you but you also need to be there for yourself as well.
Pieman7373 wrote:
Also, this might seem kinda stupid, but i wish i either didnt like any girls at all, or that i would stop liking and building friendships with girls who are either not interested in me or are romantically unavailable... because i always convince myself that people like me more than they do (no one likes me) and then i get my hopes up, but they dont actually like me.


You have way more of a chance of getting a girlfriend than me. Most girls I know right now know me from elementary school and 7th grade. I was always really, really, really, annoying to them. Now, when I like girls, they all hate me. I'm the most attractive either. I couldn't buy myself a date. Hopefully when I get to college I can find someone who likes me. For now, I just try to get girls to like me.

Just keep going, try to enjoy life.
Having girls know you for a long time isnt always the worst... I have some chicks who knew me in elementary school who think im kinda cool know
(but i also didnt see them from 7th grade to now, so i dont know if that has any part in it, lol)
And thank you everyone for your words of encouragement and stuff <3
Alex wrote:
Hey man. Reality check.

Pieman7373 wrote:
That feeling when you desperately need to graduate, but your brain is an idiot, so it always forgets to do everything important, and you are barely passing...


Yeah, grades are important but you are more important. Don't forget to take time for yourself when you're stressed. I find that I can recompose myself better when I take a break from studying or stressful things going on in my life by expressing myself. I'll cover this next but don't you ever forget about yourself.

Quote:
and depression

which causes stupid things to be done to myself


It's life. We've all been depressed. We can all relate. Don't let that deter you. You'll only hit the bottom if you let yourself. And trust me, when you let yourself hit bottom you might as well be in a black hole. Nothing matters, nothing cheers you up and that pessimistic view you have on life now begins permanent. You need to fight for your survival.

I don't like hearing that depression causes you to do stupid things to yourself. I've had friends who cut, who took prescription drugs, done hard drugs and even, drown themselves in alcohol. A majority of them are better these days but I can still see how those choices affected them. I'd really like to see you applying that depression and stress towards an outlet. Buy a blank canvas and some paint, when you're feeling depressed throw some paint at the sucker, draw and paint your feelings. I know what you're thinking. "That's stupid." No. It isn't. Do not keep these feelings to yourself. That's the WORST thing you can do. You need to get these feelings out and expressed. That's why people cut. You need to feel better and relieved. That's why people consume drugs and alcohol. But those are band aids over a problem. None of them solve the issue.

Yeah, sure. Obtaining the canvas and paints costs money but it's cheap compared to hospital bills for an OD, getting your stomach pumped or, blood transfusions because you cut deeper so you can feel something again. On top of that, canvas and paint is certainly cheaper than a therapist.

Maybe painting isn't your thing. That's fine. Maybe you've always wanted to get in shape. So spend a few hundred bucks on a good punching bag. And when you're depressed just punch the living daylights out of it. Go running, visualize yourself running away from those problems and leaving them on the streets. Visualize those fears and problems getting hit by cars and trampled by pedestrians. When you get home tell yourself you left your problems outside to die. Don't bring anything home with you.

You need to express yourself. Don't forget about yourself.

Quote:
but i have no good friends irl (just faces)

so no one i can talk to about the stupid things

and that makes it worse


Yeah. So what? These friends aren't holding you back. Take the forms of expression you found above and go on websites like MeetUp and find groups of people with the same passion in your city. Some groups may have a membership fee but pay it. It won't be a permanent thing. Maybe the group isn't a good fit, so move onto another. Maybe after a year you got some solid friends and you guys start organizing events outside of the MeetMe group. Cancel your membership.

You need to express yourself. Keeping all these feelings inside you is damaging and poisonous. You need to put yourself out there. Remeber, don't forget about yourself.

Quote:
and then the only people i can talk to are far away

they cant help me

shout out to Little for being helpful


Yes we can. We just can't help you the way you want us to help you. Help comes in many forms. This post of mine here is help. It may not be supportive or pandering to your ego but it is help. You absolutely need to take care of yourself. You are the most important thing in your life. Everything else is last. There shouldn't even be a second place right now.


Quote:
Also, this might seem kinda stupid, but i wish i either didnt like any girls at all, or that i would stop liking and building friendships with girls who are either not interested in me or are romantically unavailable... because i always convince myself that people like me more than they do (no one likes me) and then i get my hopes up, but they dont actually like me.


Stop. This is not healthy. By all means, form relationships with women but tell yourself that there is nothing romantic. It's important. Pushing women away as friends is the opposite of what you want. If you push them away, after a while you'll believe any interaction from them is a form of interest on their end. It's not healthy. Recognize the difference between a friendship and a relationship. If you go out with a group of people from MeetMe, every one is a friend for a few meetings. Get to know people. Maybe you click with a few of them, get their numbers, Maybe the lot of you are really looking forward to the summer blockbuster coming out. Plan an evening with the movie and a group dinner. As well as other events. You'll form a better and intimate bond with those friends, maybe you'll form a really close bond with a woman, you guys start doing things together. Just the two of you. That's entering relationship territory.

But to get there you need to put yourself first and take care of yourself.

Quote:
I am a nice person, and i am quite empathetic (almost to a fault) and so i notice if the people that i know and (for some reason) care about are struggling, or having problems, and i try to help them, but no one notices ME... Not one of my so called "friends" ever notices when i am particularly down, and even when i try to talk to my closest irl friend, she doesnt actually care, she just pretends.


We share a lot in common here. You notice their issues because they express them. You keep them to yourself. You don't express your feelings but yet you expect people to read your mind? It doesn't work like that. Work on expressing your feelings. I don't care if you throw water balloons filled with paint at a canvas and title it "Thrown with Rage." That's expression. I don't care if you burn that painting and photograph it. Titling that one "My Problems Don't Control Me." That's expression. You can't keep this inside you. It's not healthy and it won't solve your problems. Take care of yourself by expressing your problems.

Quote:
I always try and seem happy on here, because i want to help other people feel good (even if i feel like sh*t)... Just like i pretend to be an extrovert sometimes, even though i am actually not... and i act like an almost over-confident person, but i actually have zero faith in my own capabilities


Again. Stop. Start thinking positively. Instead of having zero faith in your abilities tell your self "with a little bit more practice I'll be able to achieve this." Stop looking at the bigger picture. Break into into small steps. You'll never climb Everest if you look at the top. You need to break it down and see that Base Camp is at these 3 elevations. You need to break it down further, achieve smaller goals so that you know you can survive on the lower oxygen levels at each base camp when you attempt Everest. I can't tell you what these steps are, so you need to take that analogy and apply them to your own goals.

I believe in you. I'm here for you but you also need to be there for yourself as well.


Best post I ever read.
Incidentally, I didn't have any kind of relationship with a girl until I was 29. Now she's been my wife for 28 years. It can happen, but you can't rush it/make it happen (or you'll probably regret it).
Thanks OldMathTeacher. I'm 27 and in a similar boat. Glad to read that it's not unheard of. Laughing

Pieman7373 wrote:
Having girls know you for a long time isnt always the worst... I have some chicks who knew me in elementary school who think im kinda cool know
(but i also didnt see them from 7th grade to now, so i dont know if that has any part in it, 0x5)


Take it. Run with it. Invite them to lunch to just catch up. Some place casual where you order your food at a counter and it's brought to you. That way you can each buy what you want without having to worry about splitting a bill. Remember, this lunch is just a friendly get together and catch up. Ask about what they've been up to. What colleges they've applied to and been accepted at? What are they majoring in? Were you somewhat close to their family, siblings or, pets ask about how they're doing as well. Did they move away, or you? Ask how their new school was or any changes the school went through over the time you left - perhaps they got a new Gym or the principal was arrested!

They'll of course ask you similar questions. There's more questions you can go that will come organically in conversation as well. Perhaps talk about plans for the summer. If they're moving away for college see if they want to plan a Going Away party. If not for them, then for you. Cause you're going into the Navy or something this year right? Tell them that you want to see everyone before you leave and you'll have something going on a specific date.

Of course, don't just drop all conversation with them after that. I'd have very little inclination to go if someone told me about a going away party then didn't talk to me all summer. So continue to make plans to see them. If you are going away this year then that's the perfect excuse to tell yourself none of these friendships will move into relationships. Bring up that you'd love to hear from them while in training and if they're on board ask for an address that you can send them snail mail. My friend just got out of the Marines basic training (it's not Boot Camp, as he politely told me) and he absolutely loved that he could snail mail his friends and them snail mail him back since he had no access to e-mail, texting, Facebook, etc outside of specific days which were not common. I'll send you my address, if you want.
Pieman: I'm not exactly sure what to say, but I hope you feel better eventually, and as always keep it up with your projects!

I'm sure many of you have been at the stage I'm at --
As high school comes to a close, I'm faced with many good memories but also memories of countless hours of school work. I feel like I had fun in high school, and I met a lot of cool people, but sometimes I feel like I forgot to have enough fun. Was I too focused on school work, or am I simply comparing my life to others lives too much?
Michael2_3B wrote:
Pieman: I'm not exactly sure what to say, but I hope you feel better eventually, and as always keep it up with your projects!

I'm sure many of you have been at the stage I'm at --
As high school comes to a close, I'm faced with many good memories but also memories of countless hours of school work. I feel like I had fun in high school, and I met a lot of cool people, but sometimes I feel like I forgot to have enough fun. Was I too focused on school work, or am I simply comparing my life to others lives too much?

Having relatively recently gone through a similar transition, I think the scary part is change. It's normal to be uneasy about leaving something familiar for something new, but trust me, it will be fine. I had the exact same feeling when I finished high school, but I'm now going through college, and I have to say, in my opinion, high school was a great time, but college is also great in different ways. The memories you've made in high school will stick with you for a long time, but you have many more memories to come. Presuming you want to continue your education after high school, you will meet a ton of new people, with whom you will form nice relationships, and the closer friends from high school will stick around.
tl;dr, Don't be scared, it looks scary, but in the end, it isn't.
Here's why my life sucks:

I can hardly get any sleep
I'm locked out of my iPod
My mp3 doesn't work
And my Bluetooth headphones are partially broken. Not to mention that I can't find a game that I owe someone, so I might end up owing them a extremely expensive replacement, draining just about all of the money that I have left. So I'm broke as well.

There's my life.
Caleb_J wrote:
Here's why my life sucks:

I can hardly get any sleep
I'm locked out of my iPod
My mp3 doesn't work
And my Bluetooth headphones are partially broken. Not to mention that I can't find a game that I owe someone, so I might end up owing them a extremely expensive replacement, draining just about all of the money that I have left. So I'm broke as well.

There's my life.


I'm sorry for you problems Caleb... :'(
I wish I could help...
Thanks, Pieman. It's nice to know someone cares.
Caleb_J wrote:
Thanks, Pieman. It's nice to know someone cares.

If course i care!! I know what it's like to feel like no one cares, so I do my best to make sure that other people don't ever feel that way Smile


Well, to add another facet to my fun life, I just fully realized/accepted the fact that I'm bi... which won't be a problem with the parents that I live with, but I don't know how my mom and sister (and my sister's husband) will feel about it... I don't think I'm even gonna tell them .-.
my life just sucks. there is no reason or cause it just does because it can.
SeeGreatness wrote:
my life just sucks. there is no reason or cause it just does because it can.


First off: nobody's life is perfect, so bad days are to be expected.
Secondly: "because it can" never got anyone anywhere. "Why does the ball roll down the hill?" "Because it can."
Thirdly: I have severe depression, like to the point that it takes significant effort to be happy, and even I realize that that is negative...

Just trying to be semi-helpful Wink
_iPhoenix_ wrote:
"Why does the ball roll down the hill?"

Because science.

Jokes aside... well ... not good with these topics. Sad
/me hides
  
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