clevor wrote:
I also have AD(H)D, ASD, and depression. I won the mental illness lottery. :p


Maybe I just want to feel a bit special, but I totally feel like I have some mental issues too. Depression and anxiety obviously but probably moreÖ nothing diagnosed though. Idk I just feel like Iím less likeable than the average person.
It depends. Some people consider autism spectrum disorder as a difference rather than mental illness. I don't remember about AD(H)D, though, although I heard it was part of ASD now. Personally I have the following:
-Autism spectrum disorder (more the Asperger's, PDD-NOS type)
-Schizoaffective disorder (thankfully, hallucinations are almost completely nonexistent. The only thing out of the ordinary I noticed is sometimes when listening to music on a noisy day it's like if I heard some voices in the background every now and then, very faintly, when in fact it's just random noise from outside. I did (barely) see fractals (like black and white, 0.1% opacity) at least twice in the last three years, though, and the non-hallucinary part of my condition combined with autism made it significantly more difficult to interpret people's intention in the past (and still is if I'm not familiar with the person). This disorder started around late 18's early 19's.
-PTSD: I won't get into details on that one unless it's on the Discord server or IRC, since this thread can be found on Google.
-Gilles de La Tourette Syndrome: This causes me to have some tics (although not as much with my medication)

I also had depression one year ago, because we went into lockdown in the middle of Christmas without being able to see our family, but this year it has been better. Sometimes I feel lonely but since I am used to being alone it isn't too difficult. Besides, with ASD we sometimes need social breaks (I notice I need even more with my medication tho). But this is also what resulted into 6 Illusiat games in 6 months and more recently another full RPG in less than two weeks.
DJ Omnimaga wrote:
I did (barely) see fractals (like black and white, 0.1% opacity)


I like fractals. Maybe you can create the "Omninaga Fractal" of some sorts.
Omg I actually hear voices when i listen to music. should i be scared?
It usually is nondestinct chatter in the backround, but when i take off my earbuds to hear whatever was said, i realise i am in a room alone, or nobody said anything, etc.
I know this isn't a mental health forum, but should i mention this to my doctor/therapist or be worried at all?
I thought this was normal, like seeing things when you close your eyes long enough (without sleeping).
Wavejumper3 wrote:
Paradise lost? More like.....
...fiction, a it.
This is for personal stuff, not literature class.
Seriously.


Paradise Lost is certainly fictionalized, but it is not strictly fiction. Almost all of what happened is either in Isaiah or Ezekiel (check; it's there).

DJ Omnimaga wrote:
I could not figure out if the post was actually on-topic or not. >.<


um it is look at the title of the thread...

Wave: I get this occasionally too. Mostly in what's termed a "hypnogogic manner" (=when you're drifting off to sleep). I'm no doctor, but I wouldn't worry about it.

Omnimaga: I like fractals, too! And yes, sometimes I see fractals when I close my eyes. Usually only when I'm either very tired or in a dark room, though. The depths of the human brain are unfathomable... at least by humans.

On a... different note, I have a pretty crazy life, too. I am enrolled in an online math class (AoPS), but I get little to no internet access during the day. Or night. Or really at all. Whenever I try to bring it up with my mom, she either ignores my requests or sends me off to do something else (such as empty the dishwasher). The only time I can access Cemetech and Discord (the two platforms I use for communication) are whenever I can get to a library, which isn't very often these days. I'm super behind in math, struggling in Latin, and hate Biology. It seems the harder I work, the more time goes by, and by the time I'm done with two-thirds of my schoolwork for the week, Wednesday has rolled around again (I'm homeschooled, but we still use a set weekly curriculum that starts on Thursdays) and I'm behind in (fill literally almost anything in here) by another week. Again. I struggle with anger and just people in general. Get more than one child under the age of about 13 or so and you can be fairly sure that if I( had my way, I would be somewhere else. Even better: my little brother is (you guessed it) 12, and annoying as... I'm not going to finish that sentence. The point is, it seems he goes out of his way to torment me (what happened to respecting elder brothers?!) and make sure that my dayu is as completely unproductive as possible. I don't have a phone, so any communication has to either be face-to-face or very unreliable timing-wise (I usually can only check my email about twice a week -- if I remember). My mom doesn't "appreciate" any format for papers (yay markdown) that isn't proprietary (gdocs icky) or extremely frustrating to use (msword slow). The whole point, I keep telling mom, is that Markdown is human-readable, rendered or not, and doesn't look like marked-up garbage.

She isn't buying it.

Long story short, I don't struggle with myself -- I struggle with others. And it's killing me from the inside out.
Secretly, I am doing absolutely awful.

My life is headed nowhere, and fast.

But usually I just pretend that everything is going okay all the time. I mean, I don't want to bother anyone. There's no use expressing how I truly feel when I'm just depressed most of the time, cause nobody wants to be around someone like that. I'll just pretend I'm normal and happy.


But I do want to say, I am incredibly grateful for Cemetech. My life would be much more empty without it.
I don't know if it's due to drama I got involved in (I recall two or three episodes earlier this month?) but some PTSD symptoms have slightly come back in the last few days and in turn it has caused some anxiety. Hopefully it doesn't lead to medication adjusting because increasing it could cause physical health issues.
  
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