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Hello everyone.

I'm semi interested in writing as, over the internet at least, I am somehow a good communicator. I'm quite good at emails and expressing myself, more or less in a positive manner. Or at least I hope I do. Razz

Anyways, I wrote this recently and is a subject that I feel I know well.

http://pastebin.com/vCWdBm5w

What do you guys think? Does it seem lacking? Anything not properly explained or perhaps omitted? I intend to start a series with this and cover various aspects of leading and any feedback helps.

Thanks. Very Happy
It looks prety good
I changed the title of your topic (here at Cemetech we insist on descriptive titles, not "teaser" titles) and moved it to the Politics and Rants subforum, as I feel it's more appropriate there. Regarding the contents, it seems fairly well-reasoned to me. In the third paragraph, it seemed that you were trying to get at the importance of balancing control over your team versus letting them build up their own momentum, but I feel you never quite got to the point of that paragraph. If I was an English teacher, I'd probably claim that your sentence formation and vocabulary feels a little artificially strained, but overall, nice work.

Edit: JWalker, here at Cemetech we also value ourselves on the quality rather than the quantity of our posts. To that end, please try to use correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation, and offer constructive praise or criticism with actual support rather than empty praise, which I feel is endemic of hollow "supportive" postspam.
KermMartian wrote:
I changed the title of your topic (here at Cemetech we insist on descriptive titles, not "teaser" titles) and moved it to the Politics and Rants subforum, as I feel it's more appropriate there.


Thanks. I didn't exactly know where to place it.

KermMartian wrote:

Regarding the contents, it seems fairly well-reasoned to me. In the third paragraph, it seemed that you were trying to get at the importance of balancing control over your team versus letting them build up their own momentum, but I feel you never quite got to the point of that paragraph.


Yes, this is just a rough draft that I wrote in about half an hour. The third paragraph does seem incomplete. Actually, the entire paper seems to be missing something imo. I just can't figure out what it is. Now that I think about it, I think splitting that paragraph into two. There are two main points, the importance of having a clear goal and what you have got to do to get your team to that goal, in essence. That, or I could have merely digressed again. Smile

KermMartian wrote:
If I was an English teacher, I'd probably claim that your sentence formation and vocabulary feels a little artificially strained, but overall, nice work


Artificially strained? I guess that might come from the fact that I think I tend to be a very informal kind of writer. I try to write like how I talk and how I would physically say it.
I uploaded an edited version to my DeviantArt account.

http://toanst.deviantart.com/#/d4qum77
HOMER-16 wrote:
I uploaded an edited version to my DeviantArt account.

http://toanst.deviantart.com/#/d4qum77
I just read it through, and it seems quite improved. By "strained", I meant that it sounded like you were trying to make your tone and vocabulary more florid than your actual personal style for the sake of formality, but that's just my personal opinion. I don't know how you normally write; perhaps that's actually your style. Smile
That might be the case. I really haven't written enough to know my own style, myself.

Interesting you say it's quite improved. All I really did was correct some spelling and grammar fails and split the third paragraph into two. Razz

If you care to, here are some other things I've written.

http://toanst.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d3hhauj < Short Story

http://toanst.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d3lb3sr < BlazBlue Fan fic
i am looking forward to actually reading your work and i do hope that you will be able to find the right inspiration to be able to really do good at this and be able to finish it on time too. i am a writer as well although i dont put much stuff on the internet but i must say ypour work looks post-worthy to me. goodluck!
Thanks for the support. Very Happy

I was working on the second part about the actual Team itself, but then all my creativity dropped off.

Now that it's coming back again, I'll see about writing more. Very Happy
Great to hear! Not to go too far off-topic, but I keep seeing you in SAX and trying to poke you to no avail. I haven't seen calculator/computer project updates from you in ages, and I'd love to see what you've been up to. I'm particularly curious how System Crash is going.
Sorry, for some reason it sometimes says I log into Cemetech when don't even have the site open.

I've been having a bit of a "crash" period where I lose interest in my projects and become a dud. Though I'm back into the coding mood.

Mot much progress on System Crash as of yet, I'm slowly rewriting the code into a more OO way so that I can easily upgrade. I might become more active when my Finals are over. Razz
Ok, kicked it in gear and wrote the next chapter. Not as good or complete as the fist, but what do you all think?

http://pastebin.com/HgUeAGf0
  
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