Ok, a tragic even has befalled me, and I have no idea how to cope with this. My email account (chipSPAMmaster32@gmail.com) was hacked. I lost the ability to sign into it last week. I contacted gmail about the problem and recieved an automated answer. I replied back further explaining the problem and adding my suspicions that I had been hacked. They replied that they are taking it seriously, but that they needed more information. I gave them all the information I could. Coincidentally, my backup account chipSPAMmaster32@hotmail.com has also gone down. Now, at first I didn't jump to the complete conclusion that I had been hacked, but more recent events have proved my suspicions correct.

At 5:23PM today I recieved an email from my gmail account on my backup backup account (disgruntledSPAMphysicsstudent@hotmail.com), stating that my account had been hacked and that he was going to be an ass about it and make me solve riddles to get it back. I need advice on what to do. Here's a copy of the email and my response:
The Hacker wrote:

Dear Patrick Stetter,

As you may know, I have hacked your account and now it is unavailable to you. From what I hear, you'd like it back.

I have a lot of unread mail messages in your (I mean, my MUAHAHAHA) inbox, and I'd be happy to reveal them to you, for a price.

For each riddle you answer correctly, I will send you ONE of your email messages. This first one is free.

And if you answer enough riddles so that you're all caught up to your inbox, I will return possession of this account to you.

Anyway, please reply to this email with the answer to the following riddle:

If today is Tuesday, what is three days before the day after two days before tomorrow's yesterday?

That is all.


My Response wrote:


I know that there's little chance I can reason with you. But, please understand that this email account is very important to me. I NEED access to it as soon as possible. Unfortunately, I have no choice but to play your little game. Yay, congratulations, you've elicited the response you were looking for. You want me to send back a flaming email filled with hatred and cursing, but instead I send you this:

I love you. I don't know why you choose to return my affection in this way, but that is your decision. I'm happy that I'm at least able to make you happy at the great sacrifice of myself.

I've never dealt with anything like this before, and I don't really know how to handle it. Any advice or sympathy is appreaciated.
wow, that is pretty cruel, but I think the answer is Thursday after a quick glance (check it please) Good Idea
I emailed back friday (and that was correct). I've reiceved another email from this bastard. I might need help on this one:

There are 20 people in an empty, square room. Each person has full sight of the entire room and everyone in it without turning his head or body, or moving in any way (other than the eyes). Where can you place an apple so that all but one person can see it?
that is a tough one... and I think it may be impossible, but I would say the center because they could all line the walls, but the 1 part... hmmm...

place it one 1 persons head (search the riddle on google =P)
Yea I figured it out as well. This sucks. I hope that I don't have too many emails in my inbox. I'm telling all my friends and everyone I know not to email me. I hope spam doesn't count. This sucks a, and I am expecting replies from colleges to be sent to this account. Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad

edit: He emailed back:

A rich aristocrat decided that he would give every man $45 and every woman $60. Only one ninth of the men and only one twelfth of the women collected their dues. Can you tell me how much money the aristocrat spent if there were 3552 people in total?

i say what is his email address, i want to spam him from an anonymous account, and forward those emails to gmail so that they know, and that way they can help hopefully
please tell me you dont use firefox's password manager, and dont have a password shorter than about 8 characters, either could explain the hackage quite handily.
@Glen: He's using my account from a random proxy that updates per minute. I don't have a clue who he is.

@elf: FUCK!

Anyways, I responded 17760.
the email address he is sending the messages, that can not change that often, that is what i wanted
Don't spam it, that's my email address. He's using the email address he hacked from me to send the messages to me. If you spam that, I'll have to answer a crapload more riddles.
oh, i thought he was using his own
No. This is no idiot. I don't know what to do with this guy. I don't seem to have a choice. I'll play along until a better option presents itself.
send his emails to gmail, hope they respond
I have been.

Next riddle:

The director of a marching band wants to place the members of the band into a formation that includes all of them and has no unfulfilled positions. If they are arranged into a square formation, there are 5 members left over. The director finds that if they are arranged into a rectangular formation with 7 more rows than columns, the desired result can be obtained. What is the maximum number of members this band can have?

Edit: Here's my work:


X^2 + 5 = Num
(X+A)(A-B) = Num
A + B = 7

So I tried all different combinations of numbers for A and B and found a max with 4 and 3.

(X+4)(X-3) = X^2 +5
X = 17

So that makes for a total of 17^2 + 5 members or 294.  Does that seem right?
Sorry for the double post, but I have another riddle:

A water tank is shaped like a right octagonal prism with its regular octagonal face pointing upwards. The tank's height is 40 meters and the area of its octagonal face is 200 square meters. Water is being pumped out of the tank at a right of 1 cubic meter per minute. At what rate is the height of the water in the tank decreasing when the height of the water is 20 meters?


Edit: Ah, this is simple related rates calculus. I can solve this fine on my own.

Edit2: That was easy. 1/200m per minute.
Wow, this must really suck to have to do all this.

...do you suppose the hacker needed help with some homework and couldn't find a less-evil way to get it completed?
Lol. That would be funny. I just want my account back. I need that for stuff. Serious, important, stuff. Stuff... Laughing
Can they not simply copy all the messages in inbox, delete the account, recreate the account with information that you give them???? That would be the easiest solution...
I'm not sure what you mean, but I'm pwning this guy. After he claimed my answer was wrong because I didn't put a negative sign in, I forced him into calling a mulligan because he misspelled rate. Now i have one final one:

Fine. Be that way. I'll waive the 5 extra riddles, and give you your last email.

In order to obtain your account password, please answer the following question:

If f(x) = (x^3)*(3^x), find F(x) such that F'(x) = f(x) and F(0) = 0.

H4X0RS D1551PAT3

Edit: Shoot. This is integration beyond me. Anyone who's taken advanced calculus is encouraged to help.

@TIFreak: Oh, I see what you mean. Yea, that's what I want google to do, but they haven't been of help so far.
You have my TI-89 to thank for this answer.

Ok, simply integrating the function gives us this:

where "c" is any constant.
That was easy enough.
now, plugging in zero for x gives us this:

Ick. He wants it to be zero. Well, we can simply adjust c to fit our needs:
Subtracting F(0) from F(x) renders this:

Someone please check my work and verify it.

*note: Image capture borked, ignore the underlines beneath the zero in the second image and beneath the denominator in the first part of the third image.
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